Why I'm Glad I Have Sons

1. That time I was at the park and overheard five 5 or 6 year old girls fighting. "We're not playing with Stephanie anymore, so just ignore her." Boys don't do that kind of dirty emotional damage to one another, at least not so cruelly or so often.

2. Setting the scene: Same park. Hot morning. Just leaving after an hour or so of playing. Graham's already strapped into his carseat and is crying, having suffered the injustice of being removed from my nipple at a time he deemed premature (okay, buddy, I cut you off when you're sleeping and only waking up to suck as I'm trying to detach you from my chest--that's no longer eating in my book). I walk back up the sidewalk to hold hands with Jack, who had been going for one more slide while I got Graham into the car.

Jack turns to me and says, "I need to pee, Momma!" I cringe. The bathroom's all the way across the playground, and getting there would involve at least 5 minutes and the hassle of getting Graham out of the carseat and into a sling. I only had the complicated Moby wrap with me, which I love but takes five times as long as every other sling to put on. Then there's the difficulty of helping Jack balance on an insanely dirty park toilet seat (seriously, why are they all so much more disgusting than any other public place?) that's far to big for him, all the while trying not to crush Graham against me.

Me: "We're going to the grocery store right now. Can you wait until we get there?"

Jack: "No. I really need to use the potty."

I thought for a (brief) second (made briefer because we've had several accidents in the past week, after months of no problems), did a quick look around and told Jack he was going to learn to pee standing up. No trees anywhere nearby, so he went right in the parking lot so that we wouldn't have to get Graham out. Jack hasn't stopped talking about it, though I've repeatedly reminded him that we only pee outside in emergencies. Still, good tool to have. Can't do that with daughters. I think I've resigned myself to being a boys' momma.

Circus Soapbox

This morning we went to the circus! St. Louis has its own circus that runs for a couple of weeks here every summer and travels to a few other locations during the year. A few mornings during its run here in town they hold special shortened programs, which are perfect for those who have very fidgety children and/or are trying to deal with several young children at once. Today we fell into a category encompassing both needs. Although the circus' interpretation of a Don Quixote storyline was a bit generous to the star of Cervantes' original work, it was fairly entertaining. Some impressive horseback tricks, several trained dogs (Jack's favorite act), and a jaw-droppingly good act involving six trapeze artists on three trapezes rounded out the show, interspersed with some less-than-stellar Sancho Panza clown gags. The highlight for both Jack and me, however, was the cotton candy, Jack's first taste of my favorite fair treat.

Graham amazingly slept through most of the performance. He's been talking lots the past few days and has started spending some time hanging out in the jungle.

He's also a frequent subject of Jack's photography. And Jack's photo portfolio is extensive now (see, e.g., the following picture of the Bendaroo turtle we made last week--there are currently at least a dozen pictures of Turtle on my camera). So much so that we're thinking of getting a new camera for us and giving our old digital camera to Jack; he would love to have one of his own so that he could take pictures whenever he wants, and the kiddie versions just wouldn't cut it.

On a completely different subject, a friend of mine from law school works at the Environmental Defense Fund and just sent a link to this very moving video of the oil spill disaster in the gulf. A few of the pictures are disturbingly graphic depictions of the damage, but I think it's important that we be uncomfortable about what has happened so that we demand highly enforced regulations that will prevent any more such tragedies.

Muggy Days Are Happy Days

Yesterday as we were getting ready to leave for church, Jack went outside to check the weather. He proclaimed it "hot" and I added that it also felt very muggy. Jack looked slightly confused and responded, "I don't see any mug outside." A few weeks ago after a pre-preschool weather check, we talked about foggy and muggy weather, but apparently we didn't talk about it quite enough!

Despite the recent heat and humidity, we've had some great news around here. Last Wednesday Ben gave two weeks notice to Bryan Cave! He's officially leaving law firm life and is going to be an in-house attorney for a technology company called Savvis. Ben's excited and I'm thrilled that his hours will probably be shorter and will definitely be more predictable.

Graham also seems to be very happy of late. He's full of gorgeous smiles and adorable coos. I have yet to catch either on camera yet, though not for lack of trying. I'm especially fond of his Harrison Ford-esque half smiles that light up his eyes--it completely transforms his face.

A New Baby Boy

This morning I was moved by a Real Simple email quote of the day to start blogging again. "If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." Win Borden said that, and I'm impressed by the thought though I have no idea who that person is. I'm hoping that keeping this in mind will allow me to move beyond perfectionism that leads to no posts being finished into mediocre but consistent record keeping. We'll see. I'm intending to eventually change the blog name and address to reflect our growing family, but before doing that I think I'll make sure I can actually manage updates.

Most important things first. It doesn't seem like it's been nearly that long, but almost two months ago Graham Joseph Angelette made his first appearance. He was born at 11 a.m. on Saturday, April 17, just four days after Jack turned three and five days before Ben turned 30. At birth, Graham was 7 lbs., 1 oz., which is exactly what Jack weighed, and at 20 inches, he was just slightly longer/taller than Jack.

Labor with Graham was longer than with Jack by a few hours (2 p.m. until 11 a.m. as opposed to 7 a.m. to 11 p.m.), but it was only really difficult or painful for an hour or two, while for Jack's birth I was in significant (though epidural-managed) pain for at least 6 hours. Much easier second time around. In fact I very nearly made it without an epidural, despite having several artificial labor-inducing practices thrown at me, including heavy pitocin use and rupturing of the amniotic sac. I also recovered a lot faster, which I've heard from other second-time moms is common. Fifteen to twenty pounds of extra weight's still hanging around, but not bad for having gained about 40-45, and it's coming off pretty steadily without any effort. Graham, on the other hand, has been gaining weight like a champ. At his two week checkup he weighed 8 lbs., 6 oz.! That's almost 2 ounces of weight gain a day, and our pediatrician said he'd be happy with a weight gain of an ounce a day.

He is thus far a very happy and easy baby. He's just starting to smile a lot and his coos and gurgles are adorable, especially when he's talking to the baby in the mirror above his swing. He rarely cries, though he absurdly cried through his entire baptism, punctuating the screaming with a very loud burp and massive spit-up all over the front of my shirt and skirt at the end of the ceremony. It was so out of character and over-the-top that Ben and I just had to laugh. Adding to the absurdity, Graham quieted as soon as we stepped down from the altar and sleep-smiled at us during prayer after communion.

He's also a pretty good sleeper. Daytime naps usually require a sling or swing to start, but the past few days I've been able to transfer him to the Moses basket without waking him. A few times (like now) I've even managed to get the boys to take partially overlapping afternoon naps, so that each one gets individual time and I still get a little time to myself. And though he's certainly not sleeping through the night, Graham fairly consistently sleeps for a 4 1/2 to 5 hour stretch and for 2 1/2 to 3 hours two more times at night, so he's only waking about twice at night. One night, around 6 weeks, he even made it from 11 p.m. until 4:30 a.m., and I was able to sleep that entire time, too! In comparison, Jack was 7 months old before I was able to sleep that long in one chunk. The best part of his sleeping habits is that his night wakes are brief--a 30 minute feed, a diaper change, and he's instantly back to sleep with no rocking or soothing fussiness required.

Ben had six weeks of paternity leave, which was a blessed, blessed reprieve from the real world for all of us. My mom was then here last week, so this week has been my first at home alone with the boys. And it's gone better than I expected. We've had more good days than bad, despite a few yelling incidents (several by Jack, one from me) and the persistent feeling that all I do all day is feed little boys and clean their bottoms.

Jack is a terrific big brother. We had a few weeks of fairly regular tantrums (including one 45 minute one that culminated in Jack screaming at Ben, "I want you to go away and not come back EVER AGAIN!" repeatedly for 20 minutes), his sleeping still isn't back to normal (though he's not waking us at night, thank goodness), and he's picked up a few odd bad habits (right now he's constantly sucking on his hands), but all in all he's taking it in stride. His preschool teachers said that of the 5 kids in the class who had new siblings this semester, Jack seemed the least fazed by it--aside from carrying around a doll all day at school for a few weeks, his behavior was completely consistent.

The best part is that Jack has never been anything but incredibly gentle and loving with Graham. Jack's had a few things to learn, like not running or jumping near Graham's head when Graham's laying on the floor and not throwing things to Ben or me when we're holding Graham. But Jack's never done anything even remotely malicious and has stopped all potentially hurtful behavior with just a few warnings.

It's really sweet to see, because Jack must kiss Graham on the head at least 30 times a day and speaks in parentese to him all the time. The other day I heard Jack prompting Graham, "Do you have a smile in there? Do you? Oh, yes you do, don't you? How about a smile for me?" in the best mimic of me that I've heard in a long time. The funniest, though, was a week or so ago when Jack found a miniature Boppy pillow intended to be used for babies' tummy time. Jack decided it was a "Jack-sized breastfeeding pillow" and immediately put it around his waist, which it did, in fact, fit perfectly. He then grinned and said, "Momma, now I can feed Graham, too. I put him on here and then lift up my shirt. But, oops, sorry, I don't have any breasts." I'm pretty sure that's verbatim.

So even though this isn't completely finished and I haven't written all I want, the boys are starting to stir from their naps, and I'm posting. Now the hiatus is hopefully over, as adorable things I want memories of are happening on a daily basis (at least) and things are starting to get a little more sane around here (knock on wood). A Graham photo montage for your enjoyment:

P.S. - A Jack activity update: This morning Jack "drove" the Lexus while I was getting Graham into his carseat and loading the stroller into the trunk. He does this fairly often, so 1) we keep our cars locked even while they're in the garage in case Jack gets the urge to run away, and 2) it's not uncommon to start the car and have the radio blaring and/or the windshield wipers on full tilt. But this morning he explored new buttons; as I backed out of the driveway, I realized that my GPS was set to speak French.