Resolutions

Happy New Year!

This year I'm bucking the life coach advice to make goals specific and measurable.  Being a bit of an all-or-nothing perfectionist, I tend to give up in frustration if I don't exactly make the smaller steps of my stated goals or take longer to reach them than I had planned.  So this year I'm resolving to:

1) Make more healthy meals with fresher ingredients.  Recipes that call for fresh ginger and herbs, or exotic-sounding whole grains like quinoa, or ultra-specific perishables like buttermilk (low fat, of course) that I used to think were pointless to buy because they go bad so quickly.  If I get a particularly good start on this and am still feeling ambitious in the spring, I want to start a container-based herb garden.

2) Use less plastic.  Not as in putting a rein on my credit card use, but as in finding alternatives to plastic food storage containers and Ziplock baggies and moving Jack from plastic toys, plates, cups and diapers to more eco-friendly alternatives.

And 3) Replace time I would normally waste websurfing with writing time.  I want to stop saying, "I really need to write this down, don't I?" to Ben about everything from mommy group analyses to Jack's fad of the week.

In furtherance of goal 1, I've picked up a great cookbook from the library that has kid-friendly veggie recipes with both parent instructions and preschooler instructions.  For instance, on one page of a recipe adults are instructed to peel, dice and steam two sweet potatoes with specified amounts of spices, and on the next page simple text and adorable pictures direct children to mash the potatoes and add the spices.  It's a brilliant idea, and I'm really looking forward to when Jack's a little more able to participate in activities like this.

And here's a little addition to goal 3--a wrap up of Jack's post-Christmas wind down over the past week.

We've spent a lot of time watching "ball" this week.  With all the bowl games, Jack's been in heaven.  I'm seriously worried about withdrawal starting next week.  Pro football just doesn't seem to satisfy him as much, and neither of our Missouri pro team even had a shot at the playoffs anyway.  

Jack has become very nurturing this week.  A few months ago I finally found the perfect baby doll for a little boy and was so excited to share baby-care secrets with Jack.  Uncle Tyler had a Cabbage Patch doll named Baby Loagie (short for Logan) that went everywhere with him for a while, and despite naysayers blinded by outdated gender roles, I think it's always a good thing to teach all children to take care of others.  I promptly dubbed the doll Baby Andy, since Andy is my absolute favorite boy's name but I can't scar a child of ours by naming him Andy Angelette.  But other than continually hugging Baby Andy and taking off the baby's shirt and diaper, Jack didn't really know what to do with it.  Until he got his new wooden food cutting set.  It's a box of simplistic-looking wooden food that comes with a toy cutting board and a wooden knife.  Each piece of food can be separated into pieces that are held together by Velcro tabs so that children can "cut" the food and then put it back together.  It serves the purpose of regular play food sets while also teaching the skill of cutting and (indirectly) giving a math lesson on fractions and sets vs. wholes--great idea, if I do say so about a present we got him for Christmas.

This new food set has opened up a whole new world of pretend play for Jack.  Now he regularly feeds both Baby Andy and his the two new penguins he got for Christmas from Uncle Tyler and Nonna and Pops.  He especially enjoys feeding WaddleWaddle pieces of "wawa momma," or "watermelon" for those of you who don't speak Jack.  WaddleWaddle refuses to eat watermelon rinds.  Baby Andy appears to be averse to tomatoes.  Seriously.  Sometimes Jack will hold those foods up to them and will make a disgusted face.  Twenty months old and he's already a food snob.  And now Jack carries either Baby Andy or one of his penguins with him most of the day.

Godmother Melanie will be pleased to hear that Jack has been developing quite the sense of spirituality, or at least learning more religious customs.  We've been working on the sign of the cross with Jack for a while, and now when we walk into church, he dips his fingers in the holy water in a very restrained manner (especially for a boy who LOVES splashing!), and pats his forehead then chest several times.  As with so many things Jack does, I have gotten so used to seeing him do that that I'm no longer impressed by it.  But last week an older lady was standing right by Jack as we walked in, and she went nuts talking about how sweet he was.  It was a great reminder to me to continue praising him for his actions even when I start to think of them as de rigueur.  

But the funniest event of the week happened last night at mass.  Since it was a weekday holy day (January 1 is the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, a holy day of obligation in the US, which means all American Catholics are supposed to go to church either the night before or day of) vigil on a night of lots of partying, there wasn't a huge crowd.  The cry room (the soundproof room in most Catholic churches where parents are supposed to take their very young/noisy/misbehaving children--you can hear the priest through a speaker and see the congregation, but they can't hear you) was empty except for the three of us and one very harried mother with an over-tired two-year-old girl.  Jack being very tired himself, we had headed straight to the cry room, expecting mass to be a challenge for him.  The girl and her mother had begun in the congregation, and being forced into the cry room by the girl's behavior seemed to have exasperated the mother even more.  At one point the girl started walking across the row of folding chairs in the back of the room.  Jack watched the girl, fascinated.  

By "watched" I really mean STARED.  From about two months of age, Jack has won every staring contest he has started, often by an embarrassingly large margin.  On our frequent London Tube trips, Jack would regularly have 10 minute stare-downs with complete strangers.  And for those of you unfamiliar with big-city mass-transit rules of etiquette, making any eye contact at all is the biggest no-no of all.  Several people would at first look at him and smile and maybe even make a funny face for a minute or two.  But then they would go back to their ordinary, I-am-a-rock, purposeful ignorance of everyone around them, and Jack would continue staring.  For a long time.  Long, long after they had lost interest.  Really uncomfortable.

At any rate, the girl's mother was less than thrilled about her daughter's behavior, and Jack's staring wasn't helping matters.  He stared for a good four or five minutes.  So what does our adorable little boy do then?  He very pointedly turns away from the rambunctious little girl, kneels, and puts his hands together in prayer!

I don't think I've ever before been embarrassed about Jack's good behavior, and I've definitely never wished he would misbehave, but last night I came pretty close to it.  Geez!  The one mass in recent memory that Jack decides to quietly sit still and he does it when another kid is losing it.  I've so been in that poor other mom's shoes, thinking, "Why does my child have to be the most active, most vocal one in the quiet room?  Why can't his silent, contemplative moments coincide with church instead of happening a few hours before?  Why is every other parent able to manage their child better than I am?"  It's not a fun place to be.  I'm just sorry that Jack inadvertently contributed to that mom's stress.  Tonight when our friends Bobby and Neesha came over with their daughter, Jack's friend Maddie, they dubbed him "Saint Jack."  Our little show-off...

Sentences

Some of Jack's milestones happen in discrete momentous occurrences.  The first time he sat up by himself was around 5 1/2 months, after I had read one afternoon that he should be trying to sit at that age, I realized I had never tried to get him to do that.  Fear of him falling on our hardwood floors was a significant factor.  So I sat him in his crib and we tried it out for a few minutes and he did it. The first time Jack stood alone for an extended period of time, Stacy and I were sitting on our living room floor while Kaia and Jack played around the high chair.  Suddenly Jack let go and stood there as we stared at him in amazement, he stared at us happily, then we stared at each other, then back to him.  It felt like he was up forever, and it really was an amazingly long 20 seconds or so.

Other milestones aren't really identifiably tied to any one happening but sort of happened over a few weeks.  First word?  Possibly the time he said "bubble" in the bathtub.  Or maybe it was when he started referring to his binky as "ba."  First smile?  There were the supposed gas bubbles when he was a few days old, and then there were the wide grins around the time of his baptism.  There wasn't a specific date that I can really tie to it; no age to enter into the blank in the baby book.

So what happened this morning may not have been his first sentence, and it certainly wasn't his first joining of words, but it's definitely the beginning of a new phase.  And I'm not sure I'm going to like this one.  As Ben and I were getting dressed this morning, Jack walked up to us and proudly announced, "Quack quack down!"  The past few days he's been interested in looking down the stairs and had started throwing balls down there, so I had a pretty good idea what had happened.  And, just as I had suspected, Jack's toy duck had indeed gone down and was lying at the bottom of the stairs.  Several balls followed as I was examining the duck and deciding what to do about Jack's new hobby.  At first all I could think of was that Tiny Toons episode where baby Plucky decides that everything should "Go dowwwn the hooooole!" (the skit starts around the 50 second mark)  Mindfulness of that is a major reason we always have the toilet lid closed when Jack flushes.  I'm relieved that Jack didn't choose that obsession.

Trying to find a middle ground between allowing Jack to explore and keeping other, less resilient household goods from suffering bumps and bruises of such falls, I determined that the best course of action would be to remove temptation and substitute some time later in the morning to drop only balls halfway down the stairs together.  That method has worked well in (generally) preventing Jack from throwing things other than balls.  I promptly moved the baby gate away from the stairs, assuming that removing the dropping results would prevent.  One of my boots, a half dozen hair clips and two bottles of contact lens solution soon formed a pile in the hall on the other side of the gate. 

I knew that when Jack was taking two two-hour naps a day last week that he was probably getting ready for some sort of cognitive development leap, but I was sort of hoping it would involve more words, less science experiments.

Where's Jack?

Jack is obsessed with Peek-a-Boo.  He doesn't so much enjoy being surprised, but when he gets to hide and shock us, he's thrilled.  We spend about 30 minutes a day playing that game.  We spend another 30-45 a day playing the game shown in the video below. 

Things I Want to Talk About

Things I do NOT want to talk about: 

1. Pops lost his race by 130 votes, less than 1% of the total.  Absolutely everyone thought he had it won no problem; the new Missouri Attorney General called Pops a few days after the election and congratulated him.  Republicans dumped $100, 000 into the race in the last three weeks, all of it negative advertising about Pops, and much of it in the form of very personal attacks.  I.e., Pops wants to take your guns away (despite having an A rating from the NRA), Pops kills babies (despite being personally opposed to abortion), Pops will raise taxes by $1 billion (I'm not exaggerating here, they literally claimed "$1 billion") and already raised your taxes as Mayor (except that he didn't, just voted with a unanimous city council to let the voters decide whether or not to raise their own taxes).  It was disgusting, and I am not pleased with the residents of Johnson County, Missouri.

2.  Today is my last birthday in my 20's.  

Things I do want to talk about: 

1.  Jack has learned to jump.  Really well.  He demonstrates this often.  We're still working on NOT jumping off stairs...

2.  Jack is attempting (with much prompting) to say "thank you."  He does the sign language pretty well.  Verbally it comes out more like "Day doooo!" but he says it with such excited conviction that I can't help but laugh happily.

3.  Jack has learned to do all the motions to the following rhyme:

Teddy bear, Teddy bear, touch your nose,
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, touch your toes;
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, touch the ground,
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, turn around.

Teddy bear, Teddy bear, climb the stairs, (we say "touch your hair" instead)
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, say your prayers;
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, turn off the light,
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, say goodnight!

At "say goodnight," he lays his head down and starts making snoring noises.  Really, really adorable.

4.  Jack learned to say "gobble, gobble," and "Ho, ho, ho," which he says when he hears the words turkey and Santa respectively.

5.  Jack now picks up the phone and says, " 'Low?"

6.  Our neighbors gave us a toy horse that their children had outgrown, so now Jack rides on this new horse and frequently asks me to ride with him on his old, larger horse.

7.  We had a fantastic Thanksgiving in Lousiana with Ben's extended family.  It was Jack's first time down the bayou, and despite not being used to the hubbub that comes with a massive, massive family (Granddad is the oldest of 8 children, and all but one of them were there, most with their own children!) Jack had a great time.  He truly is the most adaptable little boy!

8. We've finally become normal again.  You see, Ben is the type of person who sings Christmas songs in August.  We've been listening to the Christmas radio station since it came on the air in October.  Early October.  We've had a Christmas song playlist for over a month.  But now we're in the norm again, as everyone is listening to Christmas music!

9.  Jack is obsessed with football.  Since we don't watch TV during the week, he thinks the TV is a football playing machine.  As soon as he wakes up on Saturdays and Sundays, he notices that Ben is staying home and immediately starts pointing to the TV and saying "'ball, 'ball."  Even being on ESPN alone isn't sufficient; there has to be a play in progress for Jack to consider it "'ball."  As soon as the players start running, he yells, "Boom!  Down!" by which time they generally are on the ground.  The Christmas bowl season will be heaven for him.  I'm a little worried about Jack going into withdrawal once the football season ends.  More worrying, however, is the prospect that he'll soon become attached to the NBA.  I love football, but basketball?  Not Momma's favorite.

Electioneering

I have refrained from commenting on politics on the blog thus far, excepting Pops' race, which I consider as much a personal and family issue as a political one.  I started this blog to be about Jack; to update all our far-flung friends and family on what exciting things he was doing and to be like a multimedia baby book.

And I haven't wanted to write this, because I know several very loyal readers have views opposed to mine.  But I have recently come to understand writers who say they feel a compulsion to release words so that the words stop rattling around their heads.  I began writing this a month and a half ago, but since just starting to put my ideas on paper seemed to stop the nagging bad dreams I was having, I hadn't finished yet.  But the election's tomorrow, and it's a big election, so I feel obligated to attempt to persuade you/explain myself.

Like most of America, I was initially completely obsessed with Sarah Palin.  Only I went a bit overboard, searching out every article written about her for the first few days, I was not a particularly attentive mommy to Jack the day Palin was announced as VP pick; Jack's average weekly TV intake was more than quadrupled in that single day with CNN coverage, as I tried to figure out what to make of McCain's selection.  The feminist in me was both glad that a woman had been chosen and horrified at her version of politics.  

I haven't heard nearly as much about "values voting" in this election cycle as I've heard in past years.  Perhaps it's just because the polls show widespread ambivalence about McCain among the religious right combined with concern about Palin's qualifications.  Maybe, though I doubt it, we're at a more liberal church.  Maybe churches and other religious groups are scared of losing their tax exempt status for blurring the line between endorsement and education about issues.  Maybe one-issue pro-life voters are starting to realize  But regardless of the reason, I, for one, am thrilled that I don't have as many people telling me I'm a bad Catholic or a bad Christian or a bad person for voting for someone I think has a much better overall balance of moral values.  

I'm pro-life.  But abortion isn't the only pro-life issue.  Easy access to contraception is a pro-life issue.  War is a life issue.  Supporting pregnant women and supporting families is a life issue.  Social Justice is a life issue.  The death penalty, for Heaven's sake, is a life issue. 

But what I really support is the idea that every citizen should be able to have input into the government without outrageous effort and that every vote should be counted.  Tomorrow I'm working at the polls in Warrensburg as an election lawyer consulting with the Obama team, and based on the training I went through, I have a few tips to pass on to help you vote.

I really urge you to try to use a paper ballot; even without conspiracy theories, electronic voting machines that do not leave a paper trail have been found by official state investigations in both Florida and California to have a significant software problems.  I actually encountered a problem with a voting machine today (in early voting in St. Louis County, voters are for some bizarre reason not allowed to vote by paper ballot).  Paper ballot voting also goes much more quickly than electronic voting, which can help move long lines of voters through more quickly.  And second, if you run into any problems at polling places, call me (if you know my number) for help, or call 877-MO-CHANGE.  They've set up a very thorough hotline that can tell you where your polling place is and help notify proper officials if you run into any voting problems.  The number is specifically for Missouri, but I'm sure they can refer you to other states' hotlines if asked.

Tomorrow night (or more likely Wednesday night) I'll post with results of Pops' race and election day pictures.  Hooray for voting!

Jackosaurus Rex

A few months ago, when Jack started roaring like a dinosaur as we were reading one of his favorite books, I decided he should be a dinosaur for Halloween (and for the various dress up play times he's already had and will hopefully enjoy in this costume for months and months still).  This morning, our little dinosaur made his first public appearance at a members' coffee morning at The Magic House, the (fantastic!) St. Louis children's museum.  I'll update with more pics tonight from our adventures "tick or"-ing at our neighbors' houses.

Even dinosaurs need to call home every once in a while.

ROAR!!!

A 3 Hour Nap = A Planned Vacation

Finally Jack has done the unthinkable.  Yesterday, for the first time in probably a year, Jack napped for over three consecutive hours.  He didn't take a morning nap, despite being (like Ben and I) horribly sleep deprived yesterday during our late night journey; we didn't get to Napa until 2 a.m. PST (4 a.m. home time), and Jack only slept for maybe 3 hours while we were traveling.  Poor guy was so exhausted that on the second flight he fell asleep during takeoff!  Nonetheless, it's encouraging to me to know that a one nap a day routine could still leave me with enough time to myself without going crazy.

Other than our lack of sleep, the trip here was great.  It was actually really interesting to see how Jack reacted to flying.  Although he's flown every few months since he was six weeks old, his last flight was just before his first birthday, so this was the first time he was interested in what was going on.  He giggled with delight as we took off the first time, and he made sure to point out the

 "fie-fies" (fireflies, or city lights to us unimaginative grown ups).  He also pointed out his "noo soos" (new shoes) to anyone who smiled at him for more than 2 seconds.  We had a brief layover in Denver, during which Jack learned the joys of moving sidewalks and escalators.  

Above is my attempt to capture Jack exploring the people movers with Ben.  Unfortunately I couldn't get very close, because as soon as Jack sees the camera now, he rushes toward me, begging me to show him the pictures I've taken.  For the past few weeks I've rarely been able to snap many good pictures before he starts backing toward me, rump pushed out in anticipation of sitting on my lap to look at pictures.  Thus, the lack of pictures on the blog lately.

Yesterday the massive nap kept us from doing too much.  We went grocery shopping and drove in to the city of Napa, which is about 10 miles away.  We went out to the pool, since it was 85 degrees, but once there I realized it was unheated.  Fortunately I checked before getting Jack in, and my big toe was the only frostbite casualty.  We ended up doing our swimming in the bathtub and called it a night early.

But his long nap did give me a chance to plan out the rest of our trip.  As soon as he wakes up from his morning nap, Jack is in for a great surprise.  We're headed into Napa to go to the Firefighter's Museum.  I harbor a personal somewhat debilitating fear/hatred of all automobiles, so before he was even born, I issued a no-vehicle rule on toys and especially clothing for Jack, with airplanes as a slight, occasional exception.  And I detest the machismo so rampant in police and firefighters.  So I never expected to be excitedly anticipating a trip to a fire fighter's museum. 

But we live about 2 blocks from our cute little Brentwood fire station (like everything else in our tiny semi-suburb, semi-town, it really is cute, with its two engines and picturesque city hall structure, but more about that in another post), and Jack has developed a fascination with fire trucks.  Since the fire trucks go by several times a day (I assume to rescue kittens or help other fire departments), he has learned to do a fairly impressive imitation of a siren.  He frequently runs to our front windows, does his siren noise, and looks at me expectantly, beseechingly, as if to say, "Please, Mama, can I see the fire engine?"  He doesn't seem to understand that I can't make it appear at will.  Last week I heard Jack's siren impression about twenty times an hour every single day.  Last week I took a significant amount of Tylenol.  The two are not unrelated.  While it's very endearing at first, Jack's siren is a very high pitched squeal, almost like a baby fire engine.  It can get a little grating after several hours.

So I know what I'm getting myself into today.  I'm almost guaranteeing a constant siren noise not only for the rest of the day, but for the rest of the trip.  But it will make him so happy.  And that's worth it to me.  Just have to remember to pick up some Tylenol before we go.

A few pictures to add:

Jack making cookies.

Jack on his first day of "school"--we went to a drop in parent and child Parents as Teachers play time at the high school last Friday.  He walked all three blocks there holding my hand!

On his 18 month birthday.  Can you believe how grown up he looks!?  

Also on tap for today:  A trip to the park.  A downtown Napa trolley ride across the Napa River.  And Jack's first haircut, at this adorable place down the street called Pigtails & Crewcuts.  They have a fire engine chair.

Surprise!

We found out Friday afternoon that Ben has to go to Napa Valley for business, so Jack and I scooped up tickets and are going with him!  Quick turnaround, though--we're leaving tonight and we'll be there through Sunday.

Since I'll be tied to the hotel room while Jack's asleep and won't be able to do anything too noisy, I should have lots of time to update the blog, with tons of pictures of our adventures, of course.  So look for lots more blogging tomorrow through Friday.  That is, unless we can get a room within baby monitor range of the swimming pool...hmmm...

One and a Half!

I can't believe how quickly Jack's growing up.  He's one and a half today, and I don't know how so much time has passed between this

and this!

More Random Thoughts From a Disorganized Mommy

One of these days I'm going to get it together enough to post more than once every few weeks, and then I will have lots of nice, organized, little day to day stories, rather than letting lose in massive, stream-of-consciousness blog entries about everything I've forgetting to mention.

Today is a wonderfully rainy day, and our calendar was blissfully empty, after our park playdate was rained out.  So Jack's still in his pajamas, even though it's 4 p.m. and he's already down for his second nap.  It's been fantastic.  We've read, we've built a fort, we've danced to new music on Pandora, and we've cooked a lot.  Since we made cookies this weekend, we didn't do that (as Nonna and I always did when I was little), but a yummy acorn squash will be ready as a snack as soon as Jack wakes up, and I've put a brisket on as a surprise for Ben tonight.  

Jack has also practiced his jumping.  We were changing his crib sheet, and Jack decided the mattress on his floor was just the right height to jump on and off of.  He's continued doing it all day.  It's really adorable, because he doesn't quite know how to get his feet off the ground, so he looks just like a little bird trying to take flight and getting so excited about almost making it!  I tried to get a longer clip, but Jack decided that he wanted to "perform" for 1-2 seconds and then run to my lap to watch the video I had made.  This clip required several takes.

But I should fill you in on some of the things we've been up to in the past three weeks.  Jack's talking a lot more now, adding new words and sounds every day.  Some are a little hard to make out.  "Wa wa" stands for both water and firefly, believe it or not, although firefly is moving closer to "why why."  And his word for milk sounds an awful lot like "no," although it's moving closer to "nawk."  Sounds for a cow and a pig (sounds more like a snort than an oink) have also started popping up.

The new words are, in part, coming from Jack's massive attachment to his books.  He doesn't want to read books just a few times through--he wants them like 10 times in a row, several times a day.  And late last week he suddenly became so attached to his (completely ripped apart) copy of Goodnight Moon that he would scream if I tried to get him to leave a room without it in his hands.  Some days he's more attached to it than others, but he generally spends several hours a day with Goodnight Moon in his hands.

And then there's the development about which I have been most conflicted and concerned.  The one I feel nervous about even mentioning because it makes me feel like the mom at a newborn playgroup who is almost embarrassed to say her child is already sleeping through the night for fear that the other moms would hate her.  I would have hated that mom, given Jack's sleep issues during his first year. So anyway, we're working on a slight early, no-pressure form of potty training.  I know, I know, this sounds awful, since he's not even 18 months yet, but stay with me for a second.  

For several months Jack has been able to make the sign for diaper change.  He started by making the sign while he was getting a change, then started making it when he needed a change, and now does it when he needs to use the potty.  I had also read in a Montessori-theory book that Montessori believed there is a window of opportunity for starting potty training between 12-18 months, during which children are more receptive to learning something like that before the terrible twos (aka the "NO!" stage) starts.  I'm still not quite sure I buy into that, but I figured that if Jack was already telling us that he was about to go, I might as well get a potty chair and show him a different place to go.  I figured that if it meant I had to change just one less poopy diaper a month, I would be thrilled, and I was really surprised the first time he used it.  But now he's becoming more and more clear about when he needs to use the potty, and he's using it successfully several times a day!  We're not even close to attempting it while out of the house, and I'm not anticipating that he'll be done with potty training any sooner than any other child, but it's really nice that on days we're home a lot I don't have to change quite so many diapers.

His sweetest new developments?  While talking to Ben or Nonna or Pops on the phone, he stops, holds the phone out, and gives a big kiss to them on the display part of my cell phone.  And anytime Jack wants to show an adult something, he grabs their hand and leads them to where he wants to play.  He did that with our law school friend Khang who was in town a few weeks ago.  Khang visibly melted and said on the spot that he wanted a baby.  

Three--well, actually two and a half--new teeth have also made their appearance.  Jack's, not mine.  And my teeth are fine now.  The root canal actually ended up happening back to back with my fillings, so I didn't have time to agonize over and fear it.  Honestly it wasn't that bad.  After having given birth (even with an epidural it wasn't a complete picnic) and breastfed, a little drilling in a numbed mouth is nothing.  The worst part was having to have my mouth open for two hours while the dentist fixed it!

And I've been having lots of mommy contact the past few weeks.  So much so that I started craving a stay at home day so much that I reevaluated and decided we needed to slow down some.  I've finally gotten to know a couple of great new friends, several of whom may even become part of my stay at home feminist mommy book club!  And two days in a row I had great conversations with Stacy in London and Juliet in New York.  Both of them had their second babies this summer (Edie in September and Miles in July), which gave us even more to catch up on!  It's so nice to finally feel like I'm back in a situation where I have a whole handful or more of close friends I could call up at any given time to talk with about anything at all.  I love my mommy friends.

Two Words

Root.  Canal.

Mommy Firsts

It's been an eventful week.  Normally I focus on Jack's latest accomplishments, but tonight I want to let you in on a few of my first experiences, which were plentiful in the past week.  So skip the detour into my life if you prefer just to read about Jack, and you might want to skip another upcoming entry that should be out early next week (I'll forewarn you).  But be assured, I will post plenty of pictures of Jack in between!

1. I hired our first outside (as in non-relative) babysitter.  Ben's firm subsidizes several backup daycare visits per year that stay-at-home spouses can use when they have appointments.  They even have the option of sending a babysitter to your house if the nearest affiliated daycare center isn't convenient (it isn't for us).  So since I had a doctor's appointment last Thursday, I scheduled someone to come over.  Knowing that Jack had never stayed with anyone else, I had the babysitter come an hour early so that Jack would have time to adjust to her.

2. I fired our first babysitter.  So when she showed up, I almost immediately knew there was no way I would ever feel comfortable leaving Jack with her.  Tattoos and bad grammar aren't massive strikes against her, but she reeked of smoke and had teeth that looked like they had seen a little too much meth for my taste.  Pops can vouch for me on this one--we video called him on Skype and he got a glimpse of our scary putative babysitter in the background.  After about half an hour of letting her attempt to play with Jack (she never really engaged him) I told her I was too nervous about leaving Jack for the first time, paid her our co-pay (which was really amazingly low, $16 total for four hours), she left, and I breathed again. 

3. So Jack ended up coming along with me to my first appointment with my new obstetrician (no, I'm not pregnant again yet, and, yes, everything's fine; it was just a normal checkup).  Turns out it was fine to take Jack--all the nurses loved him and even took him running up and down the hall for a few minutes.  A good sign for future visits when I actually do get pregnant with baby number two and beyond.  

Also a good sign is that I love my new doctor.  I was worried about finding someone good here, because my experience having Jack in London really spoiled me.  Jack was born in the Portland Hospital for Women and Children, the premier birthing facility in London, and basically a 5-Star hotel with medical facilities, and the most impressively trained staff I've ever heard of.  Gwyneth Paltrow, Claudia Schiffer, Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham), and Giselle all had their babies at the Portland.  When we were supposed to be in London through this December, we had considered having our second baby very quickly just so I could deliver there with my old doctor.

With her longish blonde hair, large frame, and joyful, bubbly personality, my new doctor is the polar opposite of my London OB, who was pixie-like, with spiky dark hair, and very straightforward.  I think Ben would have called my former OB just plain mean.  She repeatedly made fun of Ben while I was in labor, to the point that I had to tell her to give him a break and that he was a wonderful husband.  I think she was trying to get me worked up enough to push harder.

At any rate, Ben's resting easier now that I've told him the drill sergeant has been replaced with a cheerleader.  Equally effective to motivate me, but much more gentle on my poor husband.

4. I hosted book club for the first time.  Three months ahead of time, the host suggests three books for the month, all the members vote on which to read.  Then at the meeting host serves dinner and leads the discussion.  We ended up reading The Painted Veil.  I would have preferred to talk about The Book Thief, but 550 pages is a bit steep for a month's reading.  The upside was that a movie version of The Painted Veil just came out last summer, so I was able to show movie clips and talk about how the two differ based on the strengths of their different mediums (film and written word).  It was the biggest crowd I've seen, too, with 9 people here!

5. But the book club I hosted wasn't the only one I attended in the past week.  The night after that, I had another book club (this time comprised of stay at home mommies rather than women lawyers).  We read some junky, unnotable chick lit book, though it was written by a UVa Law Grad who lived in London for a while, so I expected to feel at least some sort of kinship with her heroine (no dice).  It was after the mommy book club that I experience my first going out night with moms.  Seriously.  I was standing in the parking lot talking with one of my friends, when one of the moms suddenly said, "So where are we going?  I fixed my hair.  I'm not going home until 10 o'clock."  She directed a group of us to a nearby shady bar, where she told the bartender it was her 28th birthday and he poured us a all free shot.  It was a bizarre insight into the high school lives of my mommy friends.  Especially our leader.  Everclear's Volvo Driving Soccer Mom was clearly written about her specifically.  I'm certain of it.

6. Today I found out I have my first cavity ever.  Twenty-eight years I went completely cavity free, but now I've got two, and apparently they're pretty bad.  Drilling begins at 7 a.m. Thursday morning.

7. For the first time since high school band my freshman year, knowing the lyrics to "Eye of the Tiger" has come in handy.  Rock Band II came out Saturday, and Ben and I are officially addicted.

Hooray for Daddy!!!

Ben passed the Missouri Bar Exam!  

This is particularly good and exciting news, because due to his short study time (he only spent about a week and a half preparing for it, in contrast to the two and a half months we spent getting ready for the New York bar two years ago!), we were both a little worried about his chances.  But he prevailed!  You can see his name listed with all other successful applicants on this website.

Jack helping Daddy study

Chipmunk cheeks

Jack loves cheese.  As soon as I put some on his tray, he starts asking for more.  Today we were starting the normal routine; I put cheese in front of him, he asks for more, I point out that he already has some, and he sets about eating the cheese, momentarily satisfied, and I go back to fixing the rest of his lunch.  This morning, however, he decided that he needed more cheese right away.  I turned around a few seconds after Jack had gone back to eating his cheese, and in that time Jack had stuffed all 4 or 5 of the cheese cubes from his tray into his mouth and was asking for more with hunks of cheese spilling out of his mouth.  Persistent boy, this one.

Christmas in August

Even though it's supposed to reach 95 degrees today, I have a snowman to share with you.  Jack got a snowman robe for Christmas, but it was far too big for him then, and until recently we took him directly from bathtub to changing table in a hooded towel as quickly as possible, so there was no need for a robe.  But as he's gotten more teeth and has started brushing them himself after his bath, having a robe has seemed more and more useful.  So last night we put it on, and Jack had a blast running around before bedtime.  Watching the video, I was struck by just how many words Jack is attempting to say, something I tend to overlook as we're going about our days.  

Sorry it's sideways.  One of these days I'm going to start remembering which way I need to turn the camera to have it show up right on the blog!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4398433983536224410

Who has time to nap with all this water to explore?

So I think Jack has a good chance of becoming the next Michael Phelps.  He is truly obsessed with water.  He's started saying, "wa-wa" and pointing to water every chance he gets.  He's fascinated by water fountains, loves the pool, and has become increasingly inseparable from the sprinkler.  "Duck," and "quack, quack" have replaced "doggie" and "woof-woof" as his favorite sayings. He insists on washing his hands every time I do.  

Also on the positive end of the hygiene spectrum, he spends at least 30 minutes a day brushing his teeth.  Of course to Jack "brushing" his teeth means climbing onto his stepstool, sticking his toothbrush under the water for an excessively long time, sucking the water off his toothbrush, and then immediately signing "please" while saying "Wa-wa.  Peeees" so that I turn the water on again.  But since he only signs please with his right hand, before asking me, he first has to transfer the toothbrush to his left hand.  It's an intricate process.  One that we repeat at least 20 times a morning.

Unfortunately, Jack's interest in taking naps has waned significantly.  I've had nearly everyone assure me that pretty soon Jack's morning nap will start disappearing and that he will seamlessly move to one long afternoon nap in a few days.  Not happening.  His morning nap is static at about 60-90 minutes and has never been any later than 9:30 or 10.  The afternoon nap (aka Mommy's Sanity Saver), however, has deteriorated into a series of Jack making many attempts at sleep that last no longer than 20 minutes each.  It's really hard to get anything done or to feel any sense of relaxation when I'm on call every 10-15 minutes.  

I'm a determined woman, but Jack generally gets the better of me when he's been in the crib for an hour and a half, even if he hasn't gotten much sleep.  It just seems cruel to keep trying to get him to bed for any longer than that.  I've tried moving the morning nap later, but that just isn't happening.  Today I tried waking Jack from his morning nap after 45 minutes.  He was very, very cranky and was clearly not awake yet, but the afternoon nap seemed to be off to a good start.  Until the phone rang and I couldn't get to it quickly.  After that it was more of the same.  I'm going to try that method again tomorrow, but I could certainly use any other suggestions anyone has...

Oh, and on the advice requests, if you have any other brilliant ideas for how to cover the bathtub water faucets, I could use it.  The door knob covers were too small.

On a brighter note, last weekend we had a wonderful time with Jack's godmother Melanie and her husband Ankur Rughani.  They drove in from South Bend on Saturday and hung out with us all weekend.  On an action-packed Sunday we went to the St. Louis zoo (Ben's first time) 

and church, then met up with our law school friends Angela and Khang for Ted Drews frozen custard (my first time) as they were moving Angela into town.

Since Stacy and Rich haven't been jumping at the chance to move into the house next door that's still for sale, we've now started trying to convince the Rughanis to move in.  Who cares that they're supposed to be moving to DC in December--things can change, right?

A Few More Pictures

Because I haven't kept up with posts well for the past few months.  And also because I don't want everyone to think that I only dress Jack in one cheapy, yellow, playwear T-shirt every day, based on the last three posts.  He actually does have some nice clothes, it's just that I dress him in those on days I don't plan on going out much.  And he looks so cute in yellow, which is a color I really like but have never been able to pull off well.

Playing with the new sprinkler ball (but still holding on to the top of the real sprinkler, which he finally broke, for good measure)

Asserting claim in serious fashion to the chair that Pops made for Jack when second-cousin Julie teased him by attempting to sit in it. 

Climbing into one of the few remaining moving boxes (all full of books) by himself.  And, yes, it does say "Bat Cave," on the box--that's what Pops calls the extra garage below the apartments that has served as extra storage for our family since the store burned down 4 years ago and that has now become a defacto campaign headquarters.  By moving back from London and finally getting a home big enough to store all of our own junk, we're really clearing out the Bat Cave.

Trying to drive Pops' car with Nonna and Uncle Tyler.  Disturbingly, Jack figured out how to move the seat all the way up and was well on his way to getting the key into the ignition, all by

 himself!

Taking a horsey ride on Daddy.  Okay, another yellow shirt, but trust me, this isn't the same one.  And it's just too sweet not to post!

Why We No Longer Store Cereal on the Second Shelf of the Pantry

All that while I was fixing his lunch.  Seriously, like 2 minutes destruction time, 10 minutes clean up time.

Momma!

After hearing, "Daddy, daddy, daddy," all day long for two weeks (including every time he sees a cell phone, I was at wits end and was convinced that he loved Ben more than me.  And when he started saying "Pops" to my dad during a weekend family reunion at the Lake of the Ozarks, I decided it was high time for Jack to learn to call for me in a manner other than "Uh!" or "Ah!" or shoving into my knees.

Finally last Monday Jack said Momma for the first time!  I can't tell you how excited I was.  I know, I know, I've heard from many people that there will come a time when he'll be calling for me so much that I'll wish he never learned to say mommy, but right now I'm still basking in the greatness of finally being called mommy.  It first happened after about a week of me constantly saying, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy," to Jack during his every waking minute.  It sounds sort of sweetly funny, but I have to admit that I was actually pretty neurotic about it all.  

Along with adding Mommy  (now said about 500 times a day) to his list of words, Jack has picked up more sign language and is now trying to repeat many words after us.  He's also able to tell us through sound effects and miming which books he wants to read--a roar means he wants to read his dinosaur book, a hand over his mouth in a yawn means he wants to read Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late (the pigeon often yawns) woof is for The Pigeon Wants a Puppy, "brrm, brrm" for the book about car sounds that someone must have gotten him without my approval (I try to stay away from gender stereotyping in Jack's stuff), and a very specific but indescribable yell for "Llama Llama Red Pajama" (who yells for his llama mama on Jack's favorite page).

His sign language isn't just for regular American Sign Language signals, either.  Jack and Ben have created signs for sprinkler (clearly necessary to Jack's vocabulary as past posts demonstrate) and fan, and at meal times Jack now attempts to do the sign of the cross along with us!  And he's started bringing us our shoes when he's ready to go outside to play.  He's definitely communicating!

Oh, and yesterday Jack figured out how to turn on the hot water in our master bathroom tub.  The tub was clearly designed by someone obviously not considering small children; the knobs are on the near side of the tub, with the hot water knob within nearest reach and the faucet reachable by little hands that could easily turn on that hot water.  So tomorrow I'm going out to search for safety door knob covers in hopes that they'll fit over and stay on the tub water knobs too.

Vote for Pops!

Tuesday is Missouri's statewide primary election day, and Pops needs your vote--that is, if you're a voter in the 121st Missouri State House of Representatives district.  I mean, your vote would be nice otherwise, but it wouldn't count, which is sort of what we're aiming for.

You can read about Jack's Pops (aka Jim Jackson) on his facebook profile, the Johnson County Democratic Party website (for background/qualification info and comparisons to his two primary election opponents), his campaign website (for good pictures), or on the Warrensburg newspaper website (for positions on issues).

I've been trying off and on to post the past few weeks, but my account seems to have some sort of issue that's preventing me from uploading photos and videos.  Hopefully I'll get it resolved soon, because I've got an adorable video of Jack "walking" my parents' dog Maggie and pictures of Jack climbing into his stroller in his never-ending quest for keys.

Jack Finally Gets Some Doggie Time

Weekend before last while we were in Warrensburg for my high school reunion, Jack got a chance to play with my parents' beagle Maggie.  He was in heaven and was actually very gentle with her.

Raising a Yes-Man Who Will Climb to the Top

Even though he won't hit terrible two for another eight and a half months, Jack's got the saying "no" thing down.  It's just that he uses actions, not words.  He starts to do something he knows he shouldn't (throwing his sippy cup off the table, for instance), then stops and shakes his head "no." Then as he's shaking his head, he does exactly what he's telling me he knows he shouldn't do.  Or at least what will make me say "no."  Ugh.  

So now we're working on learning to say "yes."  Any time I ask a question and either want him to say yes or know that he would respond affirmatively, I make an exaggerated nod, say "yeeeeesss" very slowly, and move Jack's chin up and down.  I think it's a good lesson to learn--say what you mean.  He thinks it's hilarious.  

For a while now I've firmly held to the conviction that Jack my no longer play with keys.  Not just not playing with my keys--not playing with any keys.  I know that means I'm being mean Mommy, and I'm glad that he's able to identify them and to attempt to say keys, but he was starting to throw tantrums when someone wouldn't give him keys, and that just won't fly with me.  Plus not generally letting him play with keys enables me to give them to him as an incredibly effective incentive to make Jack behave really, really well in certain clutch situations like when I had to take him with me to the eye doctor today.  That's double bonus time--no regular tantrums and reliable path to ensuring an extra-good boy.

But last week Jack shocked me yet again with his ingenuity and drive for obtaining keys.  We have a mudroom off the garage where we keep all our keys and bags and occasionally keep one

 of Jack's strollers when I plan on using it a lot and don't want to mess with carrying it down the stairs to the garage.  Generally I keep the door from the mudroom to the living room closed during the day, but I was trying to unload the car from our visit to Nonna and Pops' house last weekend, so I had the door open and the light on yesterday morning.  Jack loves, loves, loves to go into

 this closet-sized room, close the door behind himself, and play the "Where's Jack?" game wherein I ask, "Where's Jack?," he knocks on the door, I turn the doorknob (which he blessedly can't reach yet), and he opens the door wide and lets out a squeal of excitement that I take to mean, "Here I am, silly mommy!"  Add some of him sticking his fingers under the door and me wiggling mine back underneath in response and we've spent a good half hour at play.  Ah, the simple things. 

At any rate, last Wednesday Jack capitalized on my having left the mudroom door open and light on.  He went into the mudroom and closed the door as usual, but when he had spent a minute or so in there without going through the rest of his normal routine, I decided to go in to check on him.  Jack greeted me from the seat of his Bugaboo by holding out a set of keys and saying, "Dees!"  He had pushed his stoller over to the table where we keep our keys, climbed into the stroller (which I've never seen him do before), and retrieved the keys from their dish.  Persistent little boy.  

Crazy Mumbum

I'm going a little nuts, I think.  

Not nuts like the horrible postpartum depression I experienced last fall.  That debacle was seriously bad around the time I started this blog.  It only started subsiding in any meaningful way after we decided around Christmas that our move back to the US was imminent and I would say it wasn't really over until after we had been in our St. Louis house about a month (less than two months ago for those of you who are counting).  I've started to volunteer with a group called Mother to Mother that provides moms experiencing postpartum depression with support by pairing them with mentors in the form of moms who have gone through it before.  I'll have to go through some pretty extensive training in the fall before I actually get to help someone, but I'm very excited about the possibilities.

But anyway, that's not the crazy I'm going through now.

The crazy I'm going through now is a fairly benign kind mostly induced by a little boy who loves reading so much that he's made my shins black and blue.  How could reading cause bruised shins, you may ask?  Picture this: a mommy is trying to wash the breakfast dishes.  A little boy wants to hear "Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late!" for the tenth time that morning.  So he brings it to his mommy and throws it to her.  Her knees don't make the catch.  She reads it.  He repeats.  Five times.  Before noon.  It's great, really, but I don't know how much more my legs can bear.

It isn't helped by the fact that this is Jack's idea of a fashion show:

"Manatee Baby" onesie was a very cute birthday gift from Uncle Stephen (and a meaningful one for those of you who know the story of Ben's 21st birthday).  Polar bear slippers are adorable, if I do say so myself.  And I find his penchant for Ben's socks adorable.  But all together?  The socks look a little like legwarmers.  And with that obvious pose?  As my friend Kristin is fond of saying, "The Eighties called.  They want you back."

The other main cause of my current craziness is that Jack is really starting to say "Dada" now.  This is a great development, and I'm really happy about it.  Occasionally it comes out "ah-da" (Dada minus the initial d sound), and sometimes Jack says it in reference to my cell phone (I'm assuming he's recalling talking to Daddy on the phone), but it's definitely there.  Not so about "Mama," which is the rub.  Except for a brief appearance in London (at which time I'm pretty sure he was instead saying "yum, yum" in reference to his food), the closest to saying "Mama" Jack gets is when he says "Mumbum."  I'm trying to be excited about it, but I'm really jealous.

Also Jack just finished his very last Ella's Kitchen packet, our miracle British-only pure organic fruit and veggies in a pouch.  Even though over the past month and a half he slowed down to eating only about one every week, and even though he now eats well and drinks tons of milk and yogurt from a similar pouch, it's a little unnerving not to have that safety net.

About the only evidence of my newfound craziness, however, is that I'm considering switching to cloth diapers.  Now hear me out on this one.  They're not as bad as they used to be; no pins are involved, and velcro and all-in-one innovations mean they go on just like disposables.  The brand I'm especially considering is called Bum Genius and was created by a mom in St. Louis but has become a big name in reusable diapers worldwide.  The only difference is that we would have to rinse smelly diapers off over the toilet (FYI, according to basic sanitation standards and diaper packaging, that's supposed to be done with disposable diapers as well!), and would have to wash the diapers every other day.  That and the fact that they'd be slightly less expensive even if we only used them until Jack was two and we'd be creating lots less waste that takes over 500 years to degrade.  

I don't know.  I'm not bothered at all about the prospect of extra laundry (more on our fantastic new washer and dryer in another post), and with the addition of a portable spray bidet-like toilet attachment ($40 and easy to install), I'm not even all that concerned about the yuck factor.  But Ben's threatened to strike and not do any of the poopy diapers if I "insist on persisting in this pointless crusade."  I'm not sure I'm willing to risk that actually happening.

Thoughts on that, anyone?

Oh, and here's the "woof, woof," I promised.  It has changed a little since he started in that he used to get his head into the action so much that he looked like he was frantically nodding as he said it.  But I think it's equally cute now.

 

Dancing, talking, and other random thoughts

Jack has developed some new dance moves.  Tops on the list of things he can now do is spinning around in a circle.  It's not a really new development--he's been doing it a few weeks--but he's getting a lot of practice dancing to some musical greeting cards that we've been given.  He's done it hundreds of times now, but every time he cracks open a card and hears the music start he's still amazed.  His favorite is a birthday card Ben got from my parents that plays "I'm So Excited."  Strange that probably 15 years after it came out I still can't hear that song without thinking about the Saved By The Bell episode where Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills ("I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so...scared!").

Jack's favorite noise is now "woof, woof."  He says that any time he sees a dog, sees one of his stuffed animal dogs, hears the word "dog," or I think any time he even thinks about a dog (this happens frequently).  I'll definitely get video of that soon, because he puts his whole head and body into the effort of saying it, and unlike many words at this stage it's fairly easy to understand, even by people who don't spend much time around toddlers.

His second favorite word is "keys," which sounds like a slightly spittle-filled version of "dees."  Jack has always loved electronic things with buttons.  Cell phones are tops with Blackberries the best of all.  A few weeks ago he managed to sit through almost all of a church service without a peep because we let him take the remote with him.  This from a boy who sees maybe 15 minutes of TV a week.  But keys have been quickly moving up the rungs of coveted items to play with since we moved back to America.  Now that we have cars (unlike in London), keys are much more interesting to Jack.  "Why?" you may ask?  Because car keys generally have red buttons, and those red buttons make cars honk and lights flash.  Some babies might be scared by such commotion.  Not Jack.  He loves it.  He's even more thrilled with Nonna's keys that have a button to make her car's trunk pop open.  

When we go anywhere, Jack is always pointing out people's keys.  This can be great while standing in line at Subway or Target or the grocery store--Jack says "dees" and points, the person holding the keys smiles and remarks on how clever and cute he is, and presto 30 seconds have passed in which I've been holding Jack without having to struggle to keep him from trying to jump out of my arms.  At other times his fascination with keys is not so convenient.  The week before the Mass of the remote, the guy in front of us put his keys on the pew, so Jack squirmed and pointed and yelled "dees" every time we stood up and he saw the keys.  I had never realized just how many times we Catholics stand up and sit down.  Poor Jack was so tormented.  

Now for the random thoughts section of this post.  We finally have a lawn!  Our sod was supposed to be put in a week after we closed on our house, but frequent rain delayed that until about a week ago.  But now we have several feet of yard.  Tiny by Midwestern standards, but it's a massive garden by London's take, and even fairly good sized for New England homes.  With the addition of sod, Jack has been introduced to the world of sprinklers.  He jumps right into the spray with no hesitation, regardless of what he's wearing.

We live in a row of 10 brand new houses, the earliest of which was completed last August.  Our neighbors are great.  We certainly can't replace Rich and Stacy and Kaia (Stacy, puzzlingly, keeps laughing when I say the house next door is still for sale), but we know everyone and we've become friends with several of the families.  Two more families just moved in this week, so Jack and I are off to be the welcome wagon this afternoon.

On a very random note, about thirty minutes ago I started reading "The Feminine Mystique" for the first time ever.  I'm not quite sure how I got this far in this life of mine without having read it.  But even reading just the first five pages, I am floored that it was written all of 45 years ago (when JFK was still President!).  It could very well have been written last year.  It's incredible.  So after having reading Perfect Madness and starting this and having tips on a few other good liberal mommy tomes, I've decided that I need to start a feminist stay-at-home moms' book club, because I'm dying to talk about the issues raised in each of the books with other like-minded women.  I'm just slightly worried that it might be a little hard to find membership for this bookclub...