Thursday, December 13, 2007

Two videos of Jack laughing that should appease the restless natives

Last night after his dinner I thought Jack may have had a dirty diaper, so I leaned in and gave a little sniff. Jack seemed to think that this was a playful move on my part and that sniffling was hilarious. Hence these two adorable videos were born. They showcase very nicely how instantaneous and brightening his smile is. I went through the video frame by frame on my camera (I think it takes something like 30 frames a second), and it's literally a one-frame conversion from boredom to massive grin. It looks scripted! The videos also do a good job of demonstrating how his laugh has already evolved into a more toddler-like one from the tiny baby giggles that I posted back in October. And the second one shows how Jack's speech is developing--this week he's all about making "g" sounds, as you can tell by the "hu-guuu" he makes during a break in laughing. The less attractive part of them is that at the end of the second one I start our kissing pig game and thus a few snorts are included.

From the messy background (laundry everywhere) you may think you have an inkling that this has been a rough week, but let me assure you, you have no idea. Sunday night Jack woke up about 5-6 times. Monday night it was up to 7 or 8, including a particularly bad screaming wake from 4 until 4:30 that also involved a disastrous diaper change. Tuesday night was sheer torture as our little angel baby woke up at least 20 times.

I am sooooo not exaggerating. Literally every 20 minutes from 11 until 2 and then at least every hour from 4 until 7. Oh, and there were at least two wake ups between his 9 o'clock bedtime and 11 when I laid down. I worked really hard (and succeeded pretty darn well) at doing the responsible mommy thing of gently trying to teach Jack to self-soothe. That is to say I attempted to distinguish between "I'm having trouble getting back to sleep" fusses (2-3 individual short and sporadic vocalizations in a waking episode that lasts up to maybe a minute total) and "I'm scared/I need you" wails (crying that lasts longer than that and gets louder with decreasing time between each cry). The problem is mainly that the desire to give Jack the opportunity to learn to put himself back to sleep and the desire to stop a full blown tantrum often conflict--go in to help too soon when it's only a fussing and he's deprived of any easy learning opportunity, but go in a few seconds too late when it's a genuine cry and it turns into a true wake up that takes 20 minutes rather than 2 minutes to put him back to sleep. It sounds fairly easy when I put it in writing that way, but it is not all that easy at 1:30 in the morning when you've already been up 5 times and just want the baby to go back to sleep NOW!

But Jack's 7 a.m. wakeup was different in that it was followed by a massive throwing up episode that happened just as I walked up to his crib. I made it in time for the frightening full-body convulsions that precede baby vomiting. Scared me to death, in part because it was completely unexpected. So I left a message for Dr. Hay requesting an appointment and slept on the guest bed with Jack on my chest for a few more hours while Ben went back to sleep and then got ready for work (the benefit of working for a New York-based company in London is that because of the 5 hour time zone difference Ben doesn't usually have to be at work until 9:30 or 10--the detriments, well, there are many). All morning Jack was really lethargic and looked kind of shaky and tired, which I'm sure he was.

Dr. Hay squeezed us in over his lunch break--dear, dear man--and said Jack might have the beginnings of a stomach virus that has been going around so he gave me some tips about handling that possibility. But by that time Jack was already looking and acting much more like himself. We took it easy the rest of the day, and last night was slightly better with only 8 or so wakes.

Today when I called Dr. Hay's secretary to give him an update on how Jack was doing (as Dr. Hay requested), I asked if he could recommend a sleep specialist, because Jack's sleeping is still slightly out of control. It's gone downhill since Mom and Dad left, despite the fact that I've continued putting him to sleep in his crib rather than in my arms and that we've implemented a great bedtime routine. Even with a break at Christmas, I just can't deal with teetering on the brink of a nervous breakdown (more on that in a post to come about postpartum depression, possibly going up this weekend) based on whether or not I'm able to sleep each night. So I figured I'd just ask whether there's some sort of equivalent of a sleep clinic for babies.

I got something better than that. I got Andrea Grace. I called and talked to her briefly before realizing who I was dealing with, and she sounded nice enough on the phone when she was apologizing and saying that she was already on Christmas vacation and couldn't see us until January. But it was when I read the first line of her website that she became the new hope on which I've pinned all my dreams of sleep. It reads, "My approach to sleep problems is designed for those loving parents who want their children to sleep well but cannot bear to leave them alone to cry." Ah, heavenly, the benefit of a sleeping baby and no crying it out. Then I started noticing that she has a book (I've already ordered it from Amazon) and interviews with big time news organizations mentioned. Then I saw among the recommendations that not only was a quote in from Dr. Hay (nice to have that extra little bit of endorsement), but also a few from minor British celebrities (who I'm sure Brits would consider major celebs) and one from Nick Hornby! As in Nick Hornby the author of such masterpieces as High Fidelity (one of my top five all time favorite movies--well, not really, but it's good), Fever Pitch, and About a Boy. Anyone who has written books that have been turned into movies starring such diverse and famous actors as John Cusack, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jimmy Fallon, and Hugh Grant is amazing in my opinion.

At any rate, what I was getting to before being interrupted by a flood of praise for a somewhat minor contemporary author is that apparently Andrea Grace is the newer, gentler Baby Whisperer, complete with celebrity clients. We'll see, but my hopes and expectations are now stellar.

Silly me, I should have realized that a pediatrician associated with The Portland, a five star hotel that also happens to be one of the premier birthing hospitals in the world (if you go to the website, I highly recommend clicking on the Web Babies section--guaranteed to brighten your day even more), wouldn't refer me to just anyone. But wow. Sometimes I forget that in London we're moving in a different sphere than we did growing up. That realization usually hits me when I remember that my best friend is going back to work as a top executive for the European branch of a major world back after her year long maternity leave ends in January or that my husband's salary puts us in one of the top US-income brackets or that Ben and I are at least five years younger than our next-oldest friends. It's just a very different experience, and I got another reminder of that today.

Tomorrow I hope I get the chance to post about our Christmas preparations and put up pictures of Jack at Ben's office's family Christmas party, which is tomorrow afternoon, but no promises.

Tonight is already not looking so good--in the first three hours of his sleep (usually the most calm) I've already had to resettle Jack four times.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Overtime overload

I'm urging Ben to quit his job immediately after seeing a horrible story on CNN yesterday afternoon. A Japanese widow was describing how her husband died from being overworked, complaining that some months he worked up to 100 hours of overtime in his job as a middle manager at Toyota. Ironically, after sending this story to Ben, he then didn't get home from work yesterday until 6 a.m. this morning. If things continue the way they have the past few days, Ben will come dangerously close to working 100 hours of overtime this week.

This afternoon I called Ben and reminded him about 1) the incident with Ernesta's brother and 2) the time I almost got fired from campaign work for calling my boss several expletives and asked him why he was going to make us lose all our campaigns (long story that basically boils down to him not listening when I said he shouldn't do something that would and did hurt Dad's campaign). I then told Ben that if he wasn't home by 10:30 tonight, I would call and yell at the partner who has been making him work so late. My wonderful husband walked through the front door at 10:25 this evening.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Football opinions and puzzlements from the birthday girl

This weekend was great. We went on the Eye, which turned out to be absolutely amazing and not that scary. The view from up there (the highest observation wheel in the world) made London look small. Really, really small. And Ben and Jack gave me one of my birthday presents, a beautiful silver necklace. I'll post a picture sometime later this week. The card said Jack got the idea from Nonna's visit--Jack was fascinated by her necklaces.

Today was nice enough, with lots of birthday calls, most of them missed somewhere between Jack's naptimes (I turn off the ringer then) and diaper changes and bath time. I also realized how much I love facebook. Amazing that you can now go without seeing or talking to a friend for months or years, and then because of a little reminder service, they wish you happy birthday right on time. Great tool for the nostalgic. The day could have been a little better though if, for instance, I had gotten to see my husband for more than 15 minutes all day. I'm really starting to resent S&C.

But enough of that--let's talk football. Our morning (Jack's and mine) started with a bit of a surprise. It turns out that Jack's Uncle Tyler, my little brother, was pictured in the KC Star! And on the front page of the sports section, no less. I haven't heard the whole story directly from him, but through Mom and Dad I gather that on Friday night at 11 p.m. someone showed up at his door with tickets to the Big 12 Championship game and asked if he wanted to drive to San Antonio with them. Tyler, a junior at my alma mater, jumped in the car and told Mom and Dad to watch for him because he'd be "noticeable"--something about tiger paint and a Mizzou flag worn as a cape. Well, now we know what he was talking about. Tyler is the painted one on the left in the picture. His roommate Rob is the one in front pumping his fists.

I had refrained from saying anything gloating about Mizzou out of deference to Melanie, a KU grad and die-hard fan, God bless her, and frankly it's a bit hard to say much that's gloating now, since the BCS just dealt us the worst blow in recent memory. Last week number one and now, after losing to a top ten team, we're eliminated from a BCS bowl. That's just wrong.

I mean, seriously, "The" Ohio State is going to the championship? The most overrated school from the most overrated state ever!? The school whose conference giants include the once great but now rather lackluster Notre Dame and Michigan? Many of you have heard my rants about Ohio being the worst state in the country, a view heavily influenced by the 2004 elections and multiple horrible experiences with the Cincinnati airport. Honestly, is it possible for a single state to have a greater abundance of miserable, mid-sized, lukewarm Republican-leaning cities (think Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Akron, Canton, Dayton, etc.), all of which lost their lustre (if they ever had any) long ago? But this strongly held belief of mine also depends in part on the annoyingness of people who claim that Ohio State and/or the Cincinnati Bengals are or ever have been or ever will be decent, respectable teams. Even if Angelette extended-family loyalty did not already demand it, on January 7 I'd still be cheering for LSU.

Things might get a little interesting in Houston this Christmas, though, given Mizzou's bowl opponent. We're playing Arkansas, where Jack's Uncle Stephen went to school. Which leads to an interesting question--if (when) Missouri beats Arkansas, since Arkansas beat LSU and LSU will win the national championship (barring uncalled penalties on the order of the neck-standing junk Ohio pulled against Miami to steal the 2002 championship), does that mean Missouri should actually have stayed #1?

And now to Jack. He was very happy all day after a fussy weekend. But I've had to stop typing this twice already to put him back to sleep, and both times it took a lot more effort than normal to calm his louder than normal cries. The first time he had been asleep less than three hours, and something was hurting him. I didn't completely determine what it was, but I think he has a tummy ache. It seemed more like an achy tummy pain type cry than an acute teething pain type cry; a few months ago I never would have imagined that the two were discernable.

The rough thing about this age is that 1) Jack's needs are starting to be more complex than just needing to eat, sleep, and be changed, 2) he's getting more able to tell me and I'm more able to recognize when something is wrong, but 3) it's now much harder to tell exactly what is wrong. For example, when he's eating, sometimes Jack will cry because he wants food more quickly and sometimes because he wants it more slowly--at different times he wants it to flow at different speeds, and it's not always how you would expect. I would think he would want food really fast at the beginning of meals because he's hungrier then, and sometimes he does, but other times he doesn't. I've tried and failed to discern patterns for it. And it's hard to tell what food he wants when and when he wants a drink. It's easy to tell when I guess wrong, but eliminating the wrong choices takes a while and leads to more frustration for both of us. I'll be really, really glad when he can at least finally use sign language.

Another new thing that's just started in the past few days is that Jack will wake up crying at odd hours, and I'll go in to find him standing or sitting up in his crib. That I don't find the least bit odd--he's still getting used to going from laying to standing and standing to sitting, so he's practicing even in his sleep, which is common for babies to do with new skills. The thing I do find oddly funny is that when I put his binky in again, he immediately goes limp. As in completely limp and fast asleep again. It's as if he's hypnotized and I've touched his head and said "sleep!" The first few times he did this, he almost fell over because I was so surprised by his reaction that I wasn't prepared to support him. Normally he relaxes a little when I put his binky back in, but this is like comatose-relaxing. Bizarre.

But the best thing Jack has started doing recently is giving me kisses. It's really sweet. He had started giving random kisses/drool deposits on our cheeks while Mom and Dad were here, but now he's gotten more targeted and will do it on cue. I ask, "Can I have a kiss, please?" and make puckered kissing noises, and he leans in and plants a big, open-mouthed slobber right on my lips. Messy, but adorable. I'll try to get Ben to capture us on video this week, but Jack is rarely one for demonstrating party tricks on demand, so no promises.

Friday, November 30, 2007

accomplishing a lot

The past few days have been full of getting things done. I've been crossing things off my to-do list and Jack's been finding tons of things to play with that negate any need for all the great Christmas toys that we've already ordered. See the pictures at the side of Jack watching the washer tumble and rolling a diet Coke can all over the kitchen. This afternoon we played a game where I sat the can upright and Jack knocked it over. We did this for almost 15 minutes straight. I've set that can to the side so that no one opens that one for the next few days. Oh, and note the teddy bear footies on his pajamas. Jack has been wearing those pajamas for a few months but he just discovered the teddy bears and thinks they're hilarious--almost as funny as when I put one of his hats on my head. He recognizes that bears aren't supposed to be on his feet and I'm not supposed to be wearing his hats, which I think is pretty clever of him.


Wednesday we went to the NHS health clinic for a checkup and weigh in. I still can't get over the fact that we have tons of top-quality help there anytime we want it and don't have to pay a cent for it. I mean, taxes, but they're not all that much higher than we'd be paying in the U.S. But anyway, good news is that Jack has gained over a pound in the past 4 weeks, bringing him back up to almost the weight he should be.

Today Jack ate half a banana, half a pear, almost an entire avocado, a sweet potato cube, about 1/2 a cup of oat Cheerios, three teething biscuits, a rice cake, and a few handfuls of rice rigatoni, all with a small mommy tax levied. I list this not because I think you all particularly care, but in part to remind myself that overall he's probably getting enough to eat even though it only seems like he's getting small bits of food at great effort during each feeding. Without that reminder I still keep worrying that Jack's at the cusp of another hunger strike. In an effort to avert that, I've started giving him more finger foods. He normally doesn't feed himself (except Cheerios--those are making it in his mouth at a rate more like 9 out of 10 now, which is a pretty impressive leap from 1 out of 10 less than a week ago), but he still seems to like chunky food better than purees.

Thursday our new rug was delivered, putting me much more at ease about letting Jack climb on absolutely everything like he wants to do. Now we're starting the next step--teaching him how to fall well. He's doing a pretty good job. He's learned that the trick is to fall where the padding is, and he's even able to get there some of the time.

Ben's had an awful week at work, not making it home until after midnight several nights. He was able to come home for a few hours on Wednesday night when I sent him an email with the subject, "I think I broke my middle toe," (didn't--it was just jammed and only took a day of hobbling to heal, it just really hurt) but then he had to go back to work after Jack went to bed. Fortunately, Ben thinks he should have the weekend off (can't believe I'm saying that--I've really become

brainwashed by the law firm widow lifestyle), so tomorrow we're planning to celebrate my birthday early by going to Wagamama and then going on the London Eye. I'm a bit worried about the latter part, as I inherited a fear of heights from Pops, but hopefully since it's an enclosed pod it will feel just like flying in a plane, which is a-okay.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

a nice break

I really hope we still have readers despite my long absence from the blog world! I mean, I know that our family will still be checking, but I have heard that many of Uncle Stephen's friends and friends of friends are also readers, so I hope I haven't lost all the non-comment-posters who have bumped the hit number up over 400 in less than 3 weeks. (That's the little lion counter on the right hand side at the bottom, for those of you who hadn't noticed it before now.)

As Jack's Grammy (or is it Granny now?) so accurately pointed out, pictures and video of Jack are the main draw, so I've included a glut of pictures to try to make up for the lack of recent posts. But hopefully a few of you still read through my rants and philosophical musings about the minutiae of mommydom, though I don't expect to get many responses like Godmother Melanie's considered reaction to my breastfeeding diatribe (thank you, thank you, thank you!).

A catch-up list of some of the great things that happened while my parents (Nonna and Pops) were here last week, in no particular order:

1) I had an afternoon out completely to myself. Until then I literally had not been completely alone (as in not at least in the same house with Jack or Ben or some other family member) since Jack was born. Seriously. That needed to change. I got a first-class haircut, complete with champagne and head massage, at Trevor Sorbie's original salon. After that I was at a loss for things to do, so I went to a cafe and got out my notebook to make lists planning for Christmas. Fairly pathetic way to spend an afternoon, but it was nice to get out and know I can handle being alone again.

2) Mom and Dad and Jack and I spent lots of time at home, getting Jack into a better nap time and sleeping routine. Even though he had been sleeping enough during the day, his nap times and bedtimes were somewhat unstable, so we set some more definite parameters. More importantly, we started developing a longer, more consistent bedtime routine

3) We had a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, every night's dinner was terrific, especially when Dad made lasagna (the picture of Jack eating is of him having some pureed lasagna, which he loved!). But Thanksgiving was incredible. Mom made everything--turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, Ben's favorite sweet potato casserole, a creme brulee cheesecake ball, and pumpkin and pecan pies with homemade almond whipped cream. And Ben was able to come home by 6 to eat with us!

4) We took Jack to see Santa (Father Christmas, as Mom kept reminding us). Jack was fascinated by his beard, and I think we may have gotten one of our pictures for our Christmas cards.

5) Ben and I went on a date. First we went to a fabulous Thanksgiving party thrown by our friend Marty. We expected to only stay an hour or so, but we were having such a blast that we were there for almost three hours. On the way home we stopped and had drinks at a posh hotel bar across the street from our flat. We decided that would be an ideal place to go the first time we try a non-family babysitter, and determined we should go on a date at least once a month in the future.

6) We took Jack on lots of nice walks, including one that went by a petting zoo at Coram's Fields. Jack was a little too tired to completely enjoy the sheep, but we took pictures anyway.

7) Jack and Kaia had a playdate that we videotaped. They play together so often that it doesn't seem like much of an event, so it turns out that I have fewer pictures of Jack with Kaia than with many of his other friends. So it was nice to have a grandparent audience who recognized the importance of recording even the most common of occurrences.

In taking Nonna and Pops to the airport, we were able to extend the time before saying goodbye while at the same time scouting out the route and checking how long it takes to get there. We've never flown out of Gatwick before, but Continental has direct flights to Houston (where Grammy and Granddad live now), so we're going through there at Christmas. It means we'll have a 10 1/2 hour flight, but at least it will be direct. Only 23 days to go!

Most importantly, though, aside from allowing me to get sleep and get a break, Mom and Dad validated the feelings I've been having lately by saying that what I'm doing really does seem hard. Not just because I don't have a nanny or babysitter or because Ben has to work 90 hour weeks, meaning that I don't get to talk with him and he doesn't get to help with many of the day to day baby care things during the week. But also that living in the middle of London adds a layer of complication. I can't just put Jack in the car seat and head off to a grocery store 5 minutes away; I have to clear out the Bugaboo to make room for groceries, load Jack in, walk a mile and a half to the nearest real grocery store (not just the ones that are the size of small convenience stores), and walk back with all the bags hanging from the stroller. Going shopping for basic things like light bulbs and picture frames on Oxford Street (which I'm not doing again until at least January, since Christmas threw up all over it, making the sidewalks even more enraging than normal) requires at least 30 minute journey each way. Those reassurances--that I'm a good mother and that I do have it a little tougher than I would have if I lived back in the US--made me feel infinitely better.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Jack's new favorite toy

Ah, sleep. I had forgotten thee. But now I remember and thou art good. Mom and Dad have been here three nights, and Jack's sleeping pattern has gotten significantly better each night. The first night he was up six or seven times, and the second it was four times. Last night he only woke twice between 9 and 7, then slept for another two hours!


Or so I hear. Ben and I have been down the hall at the Sanders' empty flat (they're in Boston on vacation until Friday morning), so all of our wakeup information is blissfully second-hand. We leave after Jack's first wake up to eat, around 11 then don't come back until 8:30 when Ben starts getting ready for work. It's the longest I've ever been away from Jack, waking or sleeping, but it's worth it.

Jack is absolutely loving all the love and attention he's getting from Nonna and Pops. He's playing nonstop, giggling constantly. He's found Pops's nose, which he loves honking, and he's a pro at playing peekaboo with Nonna.

Saturday after Mom and Dad got here, we basically all slept all day, except for a brief foray out to the KCWC Nearly New Sale, a rummage sale that slightly disappointed me. I had high hopes for it, as some KCWC members routinely buy exorbitantly expensive things for their babies (think Stokke highchairs for $300 and Baby Dior clothing) and would be likely to nearly give away those things when done with them, especially since the proceeds of the sale go to charity. Unfortunately I think we arrived a little late, after a lot of the stuff was picked over. The designer highchair I had hoped to find was not there; in fact, there were no highchairs there. So I suppose it's off to EBay to buy the same perfect highchair that Stacy has for Kaia, just like I should have done two months ago.

We had to rush back from the sale so we could take delivery of Mom and Dad's luggage, which didn't quite make the plane they did--a delay in KC left them literally running through the Newark airport to catch their flight to London with seconds to spare. But we were at the sale long enough for 1) Jack to discover balloons (cute picture but it's on Mom and Dad's camera, so I'll post later), and 2) the lady selling Krispy Kremes to zero in on Dad and Ben as suckers and get them to buy an entire box. They were gone by last night.

Sunday we again lounged around, and the weather was appropriately dismal. Dad and Ben made cheese eggs and bacon for breakfast and were especially adventurous for dinner, fixing Coq au Vin and cheesy garlic biscuits. Delicious. We went to mass at the Italian Church, where the priest confirmed our suspicions that they think Ben is Italian and I am only barely learning the language. I was holding Jack as we went up for communion, and as the priest said the blessing, he said something admiring in Italian to Ben over my head. Needless to say, neither of us quite got what he was saying. Mom and Dad, who are also studying Italian, were able to follow along a little--much better than Ben and I did the first few weeks. The picture is Jack dressed for church in one of his new outfits from Nonna and Pops.

Yesterday afternoon we braved the still awful weather to walk to a Portuguese chicken restaurant and the grocery store. While at the latter, I picked up some oat Cheerios. I had been resisting Cheerios because the latest recommendations on the introduction of wheat vary greatly--some say it's okay between 6-8 months and others say to wait until a year. I'm not particularly concerned about Jack having an allergy, but if he were to have one, wheat would probably be the worst, with milk and nuts a close second and third. So I figure it's best to play it safe and introduce wheat slowly and in small amounts. Our culture is too wheat-obsessed anyway.

But I digress. The point is, I got Cheerios, and Jack now has a new favorite toy. Not to diminish the joy he finds in all the new toys Nonna and Pops brought him, but Cheerios are by far the most interesting thing in the world to him right now. He's already got a great pincer grasp, and he even manages to get about one out of every ten into his mouth. The others go into his lap, up his sleeve, and a few have even mysteriously ended up in his socks. Fun times.

Tomorrow it's off to the NHS well-child clinic to be weighed. I anticipate it being a very good experience, as Jack has visibly chubbed up since his last visit there a few weeks ago. This is an extremely good thing as last time (toward the end of his eating strike) he had lost weight and was in the bottom 2% of weight for babies his age, despite being of above average height. Doctors and nurses can say until they're blue in the face that growth charts are inordinately based on the patterns exhibited by formula fed babies and that breastfed babies show slightly different patterns, but that doesn't do anything to soothe worried mommies of skinny babies. At least not this (formerly) worried mommy of a (formerly?) skinny baby!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Up by the bootstraps

It's been a long, hard week and Nonna and Pops can't get here soon enough (less than 16 hours until their plane lands!). I promise to post more regularly next week while I have help here.

As a Friday treat, though, I thought I'd post a video that explains part of the reason I haven't posted all week. You see, I've been running interference between the ground and Jack's head. Since Tuesday night Jack has been pulling up on everything he can nonstop. As you can see, he goes from laying to standing in just seconds, and this video is not at all atypical of his style. You have to love his penchant for drama--I'm especially fond of the exhausted heavy breathing around second 15 of this clip.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Jack on the move

In talking to some of you, I have realized that there's been a little confusion about Jack's mobility. Let me be the first to assure you that Jack will not be tied down anymore and can get just about anywhere he wants (except off the bed--we still won't let him jump to his doom, despite repeated attempts to do so). I can no longer turn my back or go into the kitchen while he's in the living room without first thinking about the things within 10 feet of him that would potentially be dangerous to him, as that's inevitably what he'll be drawn to. Electrical cords? Loves them. Trash cans? Never seen one he didn't want to upend. What's the the torts/property law term for those things again? An attractive nuisance?

While he's not yet moving on all fours (he gets up on all fours and moves forward a little, but mostly the going is too slow that way for his taste), Jack is definitely crawling, and he has been for about a month. It happened gradually, not in the light bulb moment that baby books anticipate with their "First time I crawled" with a dateline blank next to it, so I can't put an exact time on when it happened. It's just that he does it in a way that looks like a surprisingly graceful adaptation of an army crawl--elbow over elbow, on his tummy. A little hard to describe, so I decided to post a video. I've been having trouble getting it to run in anything other than slow motion on my computer, but I'm hoping that that's just a problem with my 3 year old Dell (being replaced by a Mac at Christmas), not with the footage. Let me know. In the video it looks a little like we're coaching him, but I promise you we don't have to encourage Jack to get him to crawl.




This weekend we realized that tooth number 3 is now definitely coming through--his upper left one. I've been told that once a tooth breaks the skin it doesn't hurt as much and night waking is less common. I hope so. Forgive me if I sound like an ungrateful broken record, but a full night's sleep is going to be indescribably blissful. Only five more sleepless nights to go!

Oh, and hunger shouldn't be a problem tonight. Today Jack ate 1 cube of carrots and 1/2 a cube of parsnips for breakfast and 2 cubes of sweet potatoes with 1 of cauliflower for dinner. Hooray! This weekend Jack tried avocado, which I'm sure will make his Granddad proud, as he's always proclaiming the amazing health benefits of avocados to anyone who will listen. This week I'm going to give broccoli a try. I've been holding off on it because its one of a list of foods whose high fiber contents tend to cause stomach upset--spinach, for example, is supposed to be particularly rough on babies' tummies. But Jack has been eating lots of other foods with tastes and textures similar to broccoli, so I figure it might be worth giving him a small serving of it. We'll see.

On breastfeeding

I've been trying to build up a supply of frozen milk for Jack's midnight feeds while Nonna and Pops are here, and as of now I think I'm up to at least two nights' worth. I know most of you aren't incredibly interested in breastfeeding stuff, so if not, you can skip the rest of this entry. Emily Bazelon, who writes for one of my favorite websites, Slate.com, has had several recent articles about breastfeeding that have turned me from a reluctant reader of her columns to a pretty big fan of hers. They're witty and real and examine her subject with her lawyer's thoroughness. She's not nearly as good as Dahlia Lithwick (who lives in Charlottesville and actually signed Ben's Con Law book at his request), and I'm still not convinced she's the best mom in the world, though I'm not as skeptical as Ben about her mothering abilities. Ben thinks she's a mom a la one of the professors at UVa Law who appeared to have all the maternal instincts of a cobra--she was seriously so abrasive that I was really surprised to see her with her second bump (I didn't know anything about her before she had her first child). But the point is, Emily Bazelon is a darn good writer and she's tackled some topics lately that have been of particular interest to me.

An older article sings the praises of the breast pump, analogizing it to the BlackBerry in its ability to free moms from constant care of their new babies. It's a really good comparison, in both the negative and positive ways. I've seen many of my friends become tethered to their work via a BlackBerry, and I have to say that my friend Bessie similarly became tied to the breast pump, which she used for several weeks (or was it months?) after she had to stop breastfeeding her son Henry (who shares Jack's birthdate). But it's so freeing to be able to think of leaving Jack for a few hours to get my hair cut or go on a date with Ben (should he ever be freed from the office) without worrying about Jack getting hungry.

But it's her latest article that I find the most interesting. Apparently there's a new study that just found that when babies with a certain gene were breastfed, their IQs were on average 7 points higher, a really significant difference. But the interesting part is in the details that most articles about the study overlooked. Although 90% of babies have the gene, those without it showed no benefit or detriment from breastfeeding. The study was also done before formulas started incorporating DHA, a fatty acid found in breast milk that is possibly associated with brain development--the addition of DHA to formula may significantly affect the study's usefulness.

Those two facts are likely to be overlooked by the La Leche League nuts who tend to use edited information from studies like this to make women feel horribly guilty about not breastfeeding their babies. Or even the US government, as they did in a public service announcement that likened not breastfeeding to a pregnant woman riding a mechanical bull (I'm not kidding about that, and the ad is even less subtle than my comment makes it seem--seriously watch the video on the link). It's disgusting and unnecessary at a time when women are feeling so completely vulnerable for others to make judgments. Very little of the often times unsolicited "advice" about how to breastfeed and how to keep your supply of milk is actually helpful. Even Dr. Sears, who is normally my childcare expert of choice, is fairly unhelpful in the breastfeeding troubleshooting area; most of his advice consists of reminding a nursing mother in pain that her baby "is only small for a short period of time," which is no solace for a burning chest.

Don't get me wrong--Jack hasn't had any formula since he was about 6 weeks old. But that's not because I'm crazy convinced that breastfeeding is best--just that it's easiest for us now and I've actually come to like it. It's mostly because 1) after the initial horribly painful and frustrating first 3 weeks, I've been really lucky that I haven't had problems with breastfeeding and figured that it was cheaper and easier than carting around all the supplies required for formula feeding, and 2) Jack had a couple of terrible vomiting incidents the last two times he had formula supplements that scared me a lot. Even though those incidents were probably a result of other people not knowing Jack's signals and overfeeding him, it was still enough to make me determined not to have to give him formula again.

At any rate, Emily Bazelon takes the study findings a step further, asking what the implications are if scientists develop the potential to find out whether or not children have the gene variant that makes breastmilk beneficial. She asks, wouldn't you feel ripped off if you made tons of sacrifices to breastfeed your infant who didn't have the gene? Or even if you just found out that you didn't have the gene, period, and thus didn't have the possibility of an IQ boost? Well, yeah, I kind of would. Fascinating argument.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Relief in the form of small joys

I honestly don't know why we didn't hire a cleaner a year ago. Seriously. Ernesta started today, and I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have our whole flat look spotless and to have spent the entire afternoon playing with Jack. Heaven. She did all the deep cleaning yucky stuff in about 2 1/2 hours, and now not only will I have Jack's naptimes more free, but Ben and I won't have to spend the entire weekend trading off looking after Jack and cleaning. That's totally worth $50 a week.

I had a couple of surprises, though. 1) Ernesta is about 30 years younger than I expected her to be; I'd be surprised if she's much older than me. 2) She's Lithuanian. From her accent and name, I expected someone Spanish. The only other Lithuanian I've known was Lizzy Friedle in 4th grade. 3) That construction worker I yelled at a few weeks ago? Ernesta's brother. Yeah, seriously.

Last night I finally decided on a new diaper bag--I'm sure you were all eagerly awaiting that announcement. I'm actually really excited about it, though. It's by this company called Dad Gear that makes un-frumpy bags. The one I ordered has a big daisy on it (I know it sounds girly, but it really doesn't look it--check it out) and should go very well with Jack's blue and tan Bugaboo.

Another new happy thing I forgot to mention last week is that Starbucks' Christmas drinks are now out. After a week of a campaign saying, "The red cups are coming," on signs outside Starbucks, a feature that got me far too excited (and seemed to offend Ben and his dad, though I'm not quite sure why. We are in England, after all, so sounding a little like "The redcoats are coming," would likely be more reassuring than threatening for people here), they have finally arrived, and with a new one to boot! The new creme brule latte is good, but it can't beat the old eggnog latte standby. Unfortunately I'm going to have to go easy on the eggnog lattes--while all of them come in decaf, the eggnog cannot be made skinny. Disappointing, but it may make it an even more savory treat.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Mission impossible

My mission, and I choose to accept it, is to attempt to update you on the last five days before Jack wakes up from his afternoon nap in approximately 20 minutes, if I'm lucky. Here we go!



Friday: Went to lunch with our friends Karem and baby Keira in South Kensington. Had a lovely time. Jack wore his real shoes out for the first time, and actually looked more like a proper little boy than a baby, which was a bit surprising for me. The picture isn't the best of him, but it gives you an idea of how cute he must have looked when he wasn't making a goofy face.

Jack wasn't sleepy during my lunch with Karem, so he tore up pieces of paper (I've now taken to carrying a small, fat notebook so I can give him papers to play with. I think he honestly likes it better than most of his toys) and gnawed on the cool cucumbers from my salad. We discovered Jack's second bottom tooth is coming in.


Mom and Dad's travel plans were finalized--they're coming in on November 16 and leaving on November 26. Mom's already planning a real Thanksgiving meal, which will be a very welcome change from last year. Even though we went to a great dinner the Saturday after Thanksgiving last year, the actual day was anticlimactic. It was the day after we had found out we were having a boy, and I was so excited to buy baby boy clothes that I didn't think about cooking at all, and of course Ben didn't have the day off.


Saturday: Took Jack to his first soccer match at Fulham's Craven Cottage. We got there just after halftime, as we had free tickets and decided late that we were going. Just as we walked in, we had a perfect view of the other team scoring a wide open goal. Fortunately we were not bad luck, as Fulham scored two more goals in the remaining 40 minutes. Fairly exciting for footie. Afterwards Ben had to go into the office, so Jack and I went with him, and we both helped out before Jack fell fast asleep under Ben's desk.


Sunday: Went to mass at the Italian church. I've decided that everyone must think that Ben's Italian and I'm his non-Italian wife, as when we go up for communion, the priests and alter servers always speak to me in English and Ben in Italian. Spent the afternoon playing with food again, with little success of getting Jack to eat any of it. Ben had to go into the office all evening.



Jack had a terrible night's sleep. I decided that I would try feeding him milk or solids at least every 2 1/2 hours during the day so that he would get the idea that daytime is for eating and nighttime is for sleeping. I was pessimistic about that having much effect. I resigned myself to the idea of forcing him to go at least 4 hours between night feeds, even if that meant letting him cry a little at night. I was thoroughly convinced that I was a bad mommy who had taught my son terrible sleep habits and would have to live with the consequential lack of sleep for the next 3-4 years. It was a really depressing thought.



Monday: Jack decided at lunch time that he wanted to eat my soup. It was tomato-based, so I was slightly worried that the acidity would do awful things to his stomach. But it was organic and didn't have any no-no allergy-causing foods, and I wasn't all that crazy about it myself, so I kept feeding him until he was no longer interested. Half the bowl later, he stopped. Amazing. Ruined the white onesie he was wearing, but that's a small price to pay. It gave me a chance to dress him in his Mizzou outfit with shorts just like his Uncle Tyler's. He got into the tiger spirit by continuing to growl, a move sure to scare away all Jayhawks except his Godmother Melanie.






Later that evening, over the course of about an hour, I got him to eat almost an entire cube of peas, by eating some myself, then offering them to him. As I was explaining the day to Ben that night, I realized that it's really tough to feed him like that--I end up spending the entire time worrying that I'm going to offer too much food, too soon, or in a way that he won't like, and that that will cause him to completely shut down and refuse to eat anymore. By the end of the night, I was a wreck, still convinced that I would never sleep again.



Tuesday: Jack slept like an angel last night. He slept from 9-11:30, 12-almost 6, then 6:15-9:30. Incredible. As luck would have it, I couldn't sleep for half the night, but I did get some good sleep during his long sleeping stretch, only briefly interrupted by a cough at 2:30 that sounded like he was dying (He wasn't. I checked. And checked again. And almost woke him up checking a third time.). I am relieved to know that my desire to cuddle my baby to sleep is not the issue preventing us all from getting a good night's sleep and to know that he can eat, and when he does eat, he can sleep. Whew! Also really glad I didn't have to try to let him cry himself back to sleep. Don't know that I could have actually done that, even if I did check on him every few minutes.


At 11:30 this morning, Jack was really tired, so I put him in his crib still awake, and he fell asleep for his morning nap on his own without crying at all! During that nap, I took the luxury of cooking a real lunch for myself--honey wasabi salmon, baked sweet potatoes (okay, that was partially for Jack, too), couscous, and even a small glass of red wine. So amazing to feel like I can do that instead of having to sleep every second!




This afternoon we went to Clerkenwell Green, a small park around the corner, where Jack discovered grass. After talking to mom about Tyler's eating habits as a baby, I thought I might give Jack a try at feeding himself, to see if he just wanted to be a little more independent. He certainly tries to assert control while drinking milk, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to try. We brought along chunks of banana and sweet potato, which we fed to one another in small pieces. Jack really seemed to get a kick out of feeding me, as if it was a completely absurd thing for a baby to feed his mommy.



Mission accomplished! Score one for Mommy.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

the union Jack gives in

Jack's hunger strike has ended!

Aku the health visitor is my hero. She came by at noon today for an hour! After asking about Jack's lifelong sleep history and eating habits, she said she thinks he'll be able to sleep again just fine as soon as he starts eating again. And instead of just saying I need to keep trying different foods and textures and tastes (done that) and "persevere" (I now hate that word) like everyone else said, she offered a great suggestion.

She said Jack's throat infection when he had that virus a few weeks ago probably created a psychological aversion to food, since swallowing hurt then, which makes sense. So she suggested that I let Jack play with food without pressing the eating issue, and since he puts everything in his mouth anyway, some food might end up there as well. Brilliant--just brilliant!

So tonight I set out pots of lots of different foods on a splash mat and let Jack go to town. He loved it! He was thrilled to hold his own spoon and feed himself, even if most of his attempts went more into his ear than his mouth. And he let me feed him half a cube each of sweet potato and squash, along with several bites of plum, one or two of pears, and even quite a bit of parsnips! I had thought Jack was still too young to feed himself, but apparently he had different ideas. So in these pictures you can see the joyful result. I'm normally anti-naked baby pictures, but he has a diaper, and I was too excited that he was eating to care. I'm especially fond of the raised eyebrow on the second one. If nothing else, this baby has character.

And as a special bonus today, you get two videos. The first video is of Jack trying to blow raspberries with food in his mouth, and the second one is raspberries with Jack's new characteristic grunt at the end. He started
making this sound a few days ago, and hasn't stopped much since then. He was especially insistent on doing it last night while he was in costume. Though Ben and I tried to explain to him that spiders don't really growl, he seemed to disagree.

We're also taking action on a few more fronts. We may be hiring a housekeeper to come in a few hours a week. And I think Mom and Dad (Nonna and Pops) are going to come over for a week at the end of the month--they actually sound somewhat excited about taking responsibility for the night shift, and since Rich and Stacy will be away in Boston, Ben and I will be able to escape down the hall to an empty flat to get a few much-needed full nights of sleep.

Now let's just hope this means he'll start sleeping better. I'm not holding my breath on this yet as I think he has another tooth coming through (top left, lots of drooling and fussing all day, and he was super-clingy, never letting me put him down), but at least one problem is solved and the other should follow soon.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I'm walking in a spiderweb...

Happy Halloween! Since the British don't so much do Halloween, today was pretty low-key. Jack dressed up as a baby spider, and I was his spiderweb. I told Jack all about Halloween in America, but it was obviously a bit hard to demonstrate. We had to settle for trick or treating around Ben's office after bringing him dinner. Then we visited our friends on the third floor, Judith, Sophia, and Jon. Phia just returned from over two months in Rome, learning Italian and working for her British law firm, and I had hardly seen Judith, Phia's mom, or Jon, Phia's boyfriend during that whole time either. Honestly, they just collect fascinating people--they always have someone interesting around, and tonight was no exception. Their former neighbor Simon, a caricature of a British partner in a law firm, arrived shortly after Jack and I did. They all of course, loved Jack's costume and oohed and aahed over how happy and well-behaved he was.


We started the day with Stacy and Kaia coming over for an American breakfast. While we were chatting yesterday, Stacy let it slip that she had never tried Lucky Charms. Since we currently have a bevy of American cereals from Skyco.co.uk (an American food importer), I insisted she come over and try a breakfast with a noticeably higher sugar, preservative, and additive content than Wheetabix. When confronted with Froot Loops, Froot Loops with marshmallows (which are too much, even for me), Apple Jacks, and Lucky Charms, Stacy took the prudently cautious choice of Apple Jacks. Must start slowly when you're going from chunks of unflavored shredded wheat to thoroughly processed sugar cubes, after all.

We spent 2 hours this afternoon at the NHS well baby clinic waiting to see a health visitor, who's sort of like a pediatric nurse who specializes in child development. When I brought up Jack's eating and sleeping problems, she realized we needed to have a much longer conversation than she had time for, so she made an appointment to come by our flat tomorrow at noon. Yes, you may have to wait in a long queue for health care here, but the service factor can't be beat in some respects. I mean, seriously, house calls? Didn't those go out in the US around 1950?
Jack's daytime naps were amazing today. He slept for an hour and a half this morning and an hour and a half this afternoon. Yesterday evening I discovered that I could unscrew the self-closing chain on our doors so that they close slowly and quietly now, a fact that might really help Jack's sleeping. I hope.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The first stand

Yesterday morning I had quite a shock. I heard Jack waking up from his nap (an hour and a half morning nap--longer than the total he slept all day any day last week!), so I went in to pick him up. I didn't have to reach far; Jack had pulled himself to standing in his crib! He looked about as surprised as I did. So all my handiwork last week lowering the crib one level had to be repeated again last night, since Jack's head was at the same level as the top of his crib when he stood up. I once again became Joanne Liebler and conquered the beast that is Jack's crib, this time with much easier success. That's why there wasn't a post last night.

This weekend was much more social than our recent ones. Ben's finally getting enough weekend time off that we're willing to do a little more than just sit around in our pajamas all day on the weekends. Friday night, I can joyfully report that after a long, hard week, Jack and I were able to walk Ben home from work a 6 in the evening! Saturday we went to a lovely housewarming for Jess King, a Virginia Law alum and one of the new associates at Ben's office. Then we came home and had a brief family cuddle time--the pictures are from that.

Sunday morning we left for church just after noon and saw that the bizarre Halloween rave at the freaky club around the corner was still going on! That was a little weird. We've been going to the Italian church just down the street recently. They speak only in Italian, including the sermons, which can be a bit hard to follow but is good for our language immersion. We're actually starting to pick up quite a bit. It's such a happy community. Much more spirit-filled than the Latin mass at St. Etheldreda's, the 13th century church we had been going to--that one's gorgeous, but they just don't seem to like babies there. Sunday afternoon, Ben's officemate Aseet and his girlfriend Cristina (pictured), who are both Canadian lawyers, came over. Cristina's here for a few months awaiting her NY Bar Exam results, so Jack and I are going to spend some time with her, probably going on a London Walks walk tomorrow and maybe starting a regular jogging date in Hyde Park with her.
Yesterday Jack and I went to see Sicko at the Electric Scream, the baby movie viewing held at the Electric Cinema in Notting Hill with my friend Jolene and her son Wesley, who is exactly 7 weeks younger than Jack. Interesting movie. Not my favorite, but thought-provoking. More interesting was the fact that we got stuck in the middle of a film crew taping a new movie called Hippy Hippy Shake about some counterculture icon in 1960s London. No interesting American-known celebrities are in it. And no chance that we'll inadvertently end up in the movie, as they were controlling the filming area pretty well and I'm pretty sure they would edit a Bugaboo out of a 1960's movie. We also ran into Siobhan, a former labor and delivery nurse from Philadelphia, whom I met at prenatal yoga class. I hadn't seen her at all since about a month before Jack was born, but we tentatively made plans to get together with her and her son Finn sometime next week.

Today, we had a brief doctor's appointment, at which it was recommended that I hire a night nanny. Night nannies are women who take care of babies for new parents at night. It's a great idea, but an expensive one. A week of 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. care will run you $2000. Not cheap. So I think we might hire Stacy's phone in nanny instead. For only 150 quid, you get six weeks in which you call/email her daily, describe your baby's habits and behavior for the previous day, and she gives you advice about how to solve eating and sleeping problems. It's worked wonders for Kaia's sleeping patterns. Hopefully it will do the same for Jack's.
We spent the rest of the day with Stacy and Kaia, first on Oxford Street, then back at their flat for dinner and (gasp) talk about things other than babies. Rich is off visiting his brother, and Ben never gets to come home for dinner, so we figured it would be good to eat together. They're only briefly home in the middle of their month-long vacation--Berlin was last week, then in the country last weekend, York this weekend, and finally a 2 1/2 week vacation in Boston ending on Thanksgiving. So exciting for them, but so lonely for us.
Exciting purchases of the day included Jack's first shoes (for Dad's benefit--I'll have pictures tomorrow hopefully) and an exersaucer, which I'm going to put together tomorrow. Can't wait for you to see Jack's costume tomorrow. I'm pretty proud of it...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Godmother Melanie

called this afternoon at a very opportune time, when I was really feeling like talking to someone but not sure if any of you back home were up yet. So in appreciation of that, today's picture is an old but good one of her holding Jack in Rome right after his baptism.


Also, here's one of our first ones of Jack, before he even had his first bath. I was thinking this afternoon as he took a (too short) nap on my chest that I can't believe that only six months ago he fit inside me. Unbelievable.
No new pics because the battery on the camera is taking its sweet time recharging.

Today's development was that Jack has now figured out how to make his Leap Frog counting maracas work (by the way, I don't do underlining, so anything underlined is a hyperlink.), so he's getting regular exposure to the numbers 1-10 and colors of the rainbow in both English and Spanish.

Exchushe me...

For some reason my family--especially Tyler--still regularly makes fun of me for an impulsive fit I threw about ten years ago in a hotel somewhere in the Midwest during a long family road trip. We had been driving all day, on about day 6 of a week long road trip, so everyone's nerves were shot. After trying about half a dozen hotels, we finally found one with an open room and settled down to sleep, only to find that the walls were paper thin and the people next door were very boisterous--I can't remember whether they were arguing or laughing, but I can remember that they were extremely loud and were keeping us all awake. Twenty minutes in, I jumped out of bed, left the room in my pajamas and retainer without saying a word to anyone, and pounded on the door next to ours. When the shocked occupants answered, I said (with my retainer in) something to the effect of, "Exchushe me, but we can hear every word you're shaying." I returned to our room, where my family had heard everything, and our problem was solved.

This morning I did somewhat of a repeat performance. The people in the flat above ours have been doing some serious remodeling for the past two months or so. They began immediately after the flat across the hall was noisily finished. Every bang of the hammer and saw through wood reverberates to no end through our all-concrete building, and most of the construction work has been done immediately over Jack's bedroom. This noise is in addition to the complete demolition of a building we overlook, which has resulted in intermittent jackhammering from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. most weekdays for the past nine months.

So at about 8 a.m., while all three of us were sleeping soundly, the hammering began. When combined with Jack's lack of sleep, my lack of sleep, and Ben's lack of sleep and excess of work, I was a not happy mommy. The poor Eastern European construction guy who answered the door didn't get a word in at all. I started by saying, "Hi. My 6 month old son is sleeping in the flat directly below you," said something about teething and something about not having slept for more than 4 consecutive hours since February, and finally said, "so do you think you could hold off on the heavy construction noises for another hour or so?" I left. He stopped until 9:30, after all of us were up. Problem solved.

I didn't have a retainer in this time, though.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Day three





Things are rough. Jack's on day three of a sleeping and eating strike (including no napping), and Ben's been home a total of about 12 hours since Monday morning. Not fun for any of us. So I'll let the pictures speak instead.